Butt Plugs 101: What, Why, How — Everything You Need To Know
You hear about butt plugs and anal training more and more…
Is there something others know that you don't?
Like heck — why would you use butt plug?
Why there are tons of butt plugs: inflatable, vibrating, fidget spinner, remote control ones, jeweled… or even ones with fox tails on them?
Hold on, and you'll be a butt plug expert after you're done reading.
Here's what we're going to cover:
- What Is A Butt Plug For & What Does It Do?
- How TO ACTUALLY Use A Butt Plug
- What Are The Best Butt Plugs For Beginners & Further?
- Use Butt Plugs For Anal Training & To Prepare For Anal Sex
- What Other People (Men & Women) Say About Butt Plugs & Anal Play?
What Is A Butt Plug For & What Does It Do?
Well, as the name suggests butt plugs are supposed to be inserted in your rectum for some new, intense sensations.
While some people use it for:
- BDSM play — in Dominant/Submissive play, like asking her at first to suck the butt plug and then ordering to insert it up her ass.
- To prepare butt for anal sex — it goes like this… finger…then butt plug, then penis.
But most couples use it simply to introduce some variety and new intense sensations. Butt plugs add another level to orgasms.
If you've ever played with anything butt related then you will know that simply having a finger up one's ass will give new pleasures:
- for guys: there is prostate milking..
- for women: there is a ton of erectile tissue, nerve endings and… yes, G-spot gets stimulated anally too.
For example, if you're a guy you could go down on her, eat her pussy out…
Then slowly prepare her butt and insert the butt plug in her while eating her pussy — her pleasures will be increased.
What you can do next is just to have a regular intercourse with butt plug still in: both of you will feel completely different!
You can try it even with a finger up her butt (best in doggy style) while fucking her. Just stick the finger in, don't move it and keep fucking her.
You will get harder and more excited just from the idea itself that your finger is up her butt.
But it will also feel a lot tighter.
For both of you.
It will feel dirty.
It will feel for her like a double penetration from a dark fantasy.
It's freakin' awesome.
Fun Fact: Originally butt plugs were created for therapeutic uses and were later marketed as rectal dilutors as cure for insanity. Go figure.
How Do You ACTUALLY Use A Butt Plug
A butt plug is designed to go into your butt and stay in there.
That's in case you are wondering, what do you do when you actually get it in.
But let's go at it step by step:
#1 — Mental Preparation: Talk About It
First of all, if you've never done anything like it — it helps to talk about it.
I have a girlfriend who never tried anything anally, so I took it slow.
First, I talked about the safety, read other people stories and explained the pleasure.
Then.. during sex or oral sex I kept complimenting her butt and … her butthole.
Thing is — we all have insecurities and butt is the most sacred spot of them all.
By giving attention to her butt, showing the interest and saying compliments I set her at ease… and made her curious.
One day when I was playing around as usual — she said… I don't mind if we take it a bit further…
So I did. Nothing big — I simply put another condom on my finger and slowly built it up to get it in.
Then as I was fucking her doggy style, I just left the finger in.
I felt the tightness and got super horny… She felt great, new sensations too and quickly orgasmed after rubbing her clit for a while.
That's our first time anal sex (kinda) story…and we took it from there and upgraded to butt plugs.
#2 — Get The Lube: For Butt Play It's not Optional
First things first, since your butt doesn't create a natural lubrication like pussy does, you'll need a lube.
If you're using a glass or metal butt plug — you'll love silicone based lube as it's super thick and last for a long time.
However if you're using a silicone toy, you need to use a water-based lube, because silicone lube breaks down silicone.
#3 — Prepare The Butt & Take It Slow
While some people are obsessed about cleanliness (hint:enema)…
If you simply poop before & take a shower before, you'll be as clean as it gets.
Don't start with a butt plug!
Start by relaxing and arousing her first. Eat her pussy out, maybe give her the first orgasm.
Put the condom on your finger (or hygiene glove), lube it all up and just massage around her anus.
(make sure that finger or condom that goes in the butt doesn't go anywhere close her vagina)
Take it slow.
And slowly insert it in.
⚠️ If it's painful you're doing something wrong! Not enough foreplay or trying to get in too fast.
Once the finger feels good, you can either leave at there.. or go further..
#2 — How Do You Insert A Butt Plug?
Remove the condom from finger.
The best position to insert a butt plug in my experience is in the doggy style.
Lube her butt and the butt plug.
And just slowly pull it in while paying attention to her feedback.
Take your time! It's doesn't happen as fast as you see in porn.
Ask her to relax, breathe slowly… Or just do whatever it takes to make sure she associates the whole process with pleasure.
🖕 Here's a tip: if you are starting out, get the smallest butt plug possible!
Don't go fancy at first.
Get a small, silicone butt plug (silicone allows for easier insertion) and if you like it, get upgrades in size, materials and style.
🖐 Note: Make sure you wash hands and the butt plug after use.
Silicone plugs can be thrown in the dishwasher, and glass, steel plugs can be boiled to disinfect them (if they're not vibrating ones).
When you are done pull the butt plug out the same way slowly as you inserted it.
Rectum and anal spinchters will return to their normal state in few minutes.
What Are The Best Butt Plugs For Beginners & Further?
The #1 tip here is:
Always get a butt plug with a flared base so you don't lose it inside your rectum.
A good rule to remember is to always make sure that the base of plug is larger in diameter than the widest point of the plug.
Even if you do end up losing it, you can squat and relax your butt and chances are plug will come out…
But why take chances, huh?
Let's start from the most beginner friendly butt plugs to more advanced ones:
#1 — Doc Johnson Jeweled Silicone Butt Plug ($18.82)
Space shaped butt plugs tend to stay in better and silicone will be better for first time users.
Just make sure you get the small size and upgrade from there.
This Doc Johnson model is the perfect introduction.
Just make sure you use a water-based lube with this one.
#2 — Jeweled Stainless Steel Butt Plugs ($14.99)
Some people call these also princess plugs. The endings come in different gem colors to choose from.
They are cheap and come in 3 sizes. Great choice for beginners.
#3 — Anal Trainer Kit Butt Plugs ($11.79)
These come in four sizes ( made from silicone) while also including enema and butt plug friendly lubricant.
This butt plug set is durable, has a nice feel to it and is very high quality for the price.
Okay…now let's say you're ready to upgrade… here's more fun butt plugs:
#4 — Vibrating Butt Plug ($13.99)
This comes the most recommended from vibrating butt plugs.
It sports removable bullet vibrator (1.5 hours batter life), made from silicone and comes with a very affordable price.
Alternatively you could also look for remote control butt plug for more fun.
Some couples love to use butt plugs (ordinary or remote control ones) in public places to get their partner (male or female) super horny during a “casual” dinner. 😉
#5 — Fox Tail Butt Plug (+ get cat ears…leggings…paws…or collars) — ($39.99)
Okay, now we are entering the pet play from BDSM.
If you're looking for a term it's: Furry.
Basically the appeal is that you role-play the cat… And treat your woman as a playful kitten… It's tons of fun if you're into it.
There are ones for looks…and there ones you can pull on after inserting.
Vuzara brand tail butt plugs are the highest quality and come the most recommended.
#6 — Vibro Inflatable Butt Plug ($23.98)
Now what's the appeal about inflatable butt plugs you might wonder?
Well, they bring a sensation of fullness that some people just love…
With the right plug you'll have a ton of new sensations giving a G-spot contact and making it all tighter.
Oh, and I didn't mention special prostate milking toys that also kinda qualify as butt plugs.
Because honestly, guys have more reasons to enjoy anal play than women, because of prostate… It's called a male G-spot for a reason, here's a full guide on prostate milking, if you're curious.
Use Butt Plugs For Anal Training & To Prepare For Anal Sex
Okay, this guide is not really how to prepare for anal sex, but here's the quick version.
The foreplay is same as before… Make sure it's all clean, you take it slow.
Start it with a finger, then go to the butt plug.
Depending on the penis size you either will go through several more steps to insert bigger butt plugs in the butt before upgrading to penis.
The key here is that it doesn't need to be painful!
If it's painful, you're doing it too fast.
Once penis is ready put on a fresh condom and go for it…!
Remember, what goes into butt doesn't go into vagina.
Another thing to remember if you're a guy, is that you cannot pound away mindlessly as you would do when you fucking her vaginally.
Anal sex is a sensitive thing and you always need to pay attention to her and take it slow.
Oh, and don't be surprised if your penis hurts after the anal insertion.
Your penis is not used to anal as well.
Here's a cool video intro in anal sex you should watch:
How does anal feels like?
From guys perspective it just feels tighter. And it's quite exciting too — because it's dark, kinky and kinda like a forbidden fruit.
From what women tell me is — it just feels different.
Some love it, some hate it. But there are a ton of nerve endings and erectile tissue that gets stimulated during anal just adding to the variety.
It's a fun thing to try with a trustworthy partner at least once.
What Other People (Men & Women) Say About Butt Plugs & Anal Play?
But what other people say about butt plugs and anal sex?
Let's add some perspective with other people stories, shall we?
#1 — “What Do You Use Butt Plugs For?”
“Anal training. “
“Used regularly in sex to create different sensations. ie a large steel plug has a good heft to it and is more noticeable than a soft silicone one. A small rubber or plastic toy could be used for minor prostate stimulation.
On the other hand I have an inflatable vibrating plug which sees a lot of use because of the sensation of fullness it can bring.
With the right plug during sex I can have more gspot contact and just generally more sensation.
A larger plug can also narrow the vagina making it feel tighter.
We don’t typically use this as part of bdsm play, just regular sex play.”
“Been married 16 years and both my husband and I use one. “
“He during a blowjob and me during sex.
It adds another level to an orgasm.
In my experience butt plugs are more coming within the BDSM community.
Several couples I’ve met have admitted to wearing them or something similar (like a WeVibe), especially if the other person is the one in control and can turn a vibration feature on at will.”
#2 — “What do you do after butt plug is inserted?”
“Well, my boyfriend and I haven’t used the plug a lot, but the one time we did he made the whole night something special. “
“We had a bath together, then he gave me a massage with some oils, and once the plug was inserted (use lots of lube!) he put a blindfold on me.
The double penetration (PIV and the plug inserted) was a nice feeling, maybe your girlfriend would enjoy that.
You could also try eating her out or fingering her while the plug is in.
Basically anything you’d do without it in.
You guys might also be interested in having her wear the plug under her skirt while you’re out for an hour or two doing errands.
But I wouldn’t try that not the first time.
Word of caution though, be sure to “build” her up to the butt plug.
Finger her asshole and get her adjusted to the length and girth of your finger before getting a plug. Even after that, get something small!!
Try with the smallest plug you can find and go from there.
It’s better to have something too small (and only get off from the kinkiness of having a plug in her ass!) than to have something much too big and you either can’t use it at all or it makes her very uncomfortable.
This is likely a new experience for her so make sure to take it slow and monitor her comfort.
Have fun, guys!”
“I’ve had a butt plug in and had a guy eat me out and finger me while holding a vibrator to the butt plug. “
“Was nice lmao 8/10 would do again.
I think they have cool vibrating ones.
You could always ask your girl what she WANTS you to do.
Give a few suggestions and see if any tickle her fancy.”
“When I'm having sex with my gf. When doing doggy style she likes a thumb in the ass. “
“I don’t have to move it in and out.
Just the presence is doing some stimuli for her.
So I guess a butt plug works the same way.
The feeling of being filled in the ass while getting fucked in the pussy is nice.”
“When I have used butt plugs on partners in the past it has usually been alongside oral sex or during sex.”
“During either I tend to move it around a bit, a slight tug or push here and there.
A reminder that it is there, the tug outwards is especially good if she enjoys the feeling of the penetration.”
“If you get in that pussy while the plug is in her ass, you will be able to feel the plug as well. “
“If we know anal is happening, we usually have sex in whatever position anal will also be in.
I am most comfortable on my stomach or on my back with one or both ankles on his shoulders.
Remember always use MORE lube than you think you need.
Also an orgasm or two for her will help her relax more for plug insertion or full anal penetration.
Take you time, warm up and have fun!”
“I bought my wife a butt plug years ago. “
“Our favourite thing was for her to wear it without panties under a loose skirt or dress.
We would go for walks, shopping, biking, whatever.
It made her horny and led to sex in public places.
So much fun.”
“Depending on what she likes and prefers, you can just let it be and use it’s presence as a source of sensation. “
“Vaginal penetration will feel a bit different when the plug is there.
Or perhaps she enjoys it better if it vibrates.
Or it’s more fancy if you move it in and out.
Or, perhaps the sensation she wants is to get rid of it again.
Hard to tell without knowing her, but these are the things I can think of quick and sound that you should try out.”
“Sometimes we just leave it there and enjoy the stretching feeling, or we caress and play with each others ass cheeks. “
“Sometimes we leave it for a while and make out and then take it out and have anal sex.
Sometimes we leave it in and have ordinary sex.
Sometimes we have fun taking it out and putting it in over and over.
Sometimes I put mine in, take his out and peg him.
Sometimes can we put mine in for a while just to arouse me and then take it out and have PIV sex now that I’m turned on.
Sometimes we put it in and tie that person up for a bit then any or all of the following: spankings, wax, ice, hot condiments, sensory toys, fingering/hand job, ect.
There’s no straight answer.
Just have fun and enjoy the feeling of the plug inside you and see what it leads to, if anything.”
“Play with her! Experiment with sensations. “
“There are a fuck load of nerves right there as the anus closes.
Test that out. Everything will feel different.
Not like a completely different sensation but just different.
Put a vibe on the plug ask her how it feels, now is the time for 20 questions.
Finger her. Fuck her. Lick her.
And then…. fuck her in the ass.
Its glorious. I love it.
Anal is amazing.”
“Enjoy the play aspect first — getting her warmed up for the plug, inserting it, playing with her body.”
“Beyond that — sex.
If it turns out she’s into it, the plug will enhance oral and penetration.
Plugs are not generally an in and out kinda toy, so if you or she wants more action you might want one of the thinner bead-type toys.”
#3 — Fun: “What’s the worst butt plug related incident that has happened to you while wearing one?”
I just couldn't not include this story.
Shit sometimes happens (literally).
But as long as you have a little sense of humour, it's all good!
You'll need it if you're entering the kinky plays like anal.
“Okay. This is an embarrassing story. I have a problem cumming. Sometimes I just can’t do it no matter what my wife and I do or how long we do it. It’s unbelievably frustrating.”
“Well we find this butt plug prostate thing with a big loop that wraps around your balls.
People say it helps, we buy one.
It kinda works too, it’s weird and I’m still not used to it but it helps so awesome…. but one day a few weeks ago I put it in.
My train of thought was wear it around the house and get used to it, which I did, and after maybe half an hour I almost forgot it was in while I sit on the couch.
Then the wife calls asking me to pick my stepdaughter up from school.
What followed was me being in traffic for an hour on the way, feeling every pothole in ways I never imagined, then having to meet with her teacher in person about her behavior, before driving another hour in traffic to walk around Walmart for groceries.
Finally after around 4 hours total of walking around with this thing up my ass and trying my hardest to suppress a raging erection, I got home.
Met my wife in the bedroom, explained what happened, undressed to take it out, and with a very satisfying POP it came out and I SHIT ALL OVER THE GOD DAMNED BED.”
#4 — A cautionary tale with Jeweled butt plugs (Princess plugs)
I know I included jeweled butt plug as beginner friendly, but heed these words of warning.
“Jewel butt plugs are NOT SAFE for anal play due to a combination of their size, shape, material and way too small base (ask me how I know…)”
A Quick Summary: Stainless steel jewel butt plugs can (and have) easily slip all the way inside and are not really safe for anal play.
Know this and proceed at your own risk!
So, first things first:
Please, please be careful with jewel butt plugs.
Yes, they are super pretty and sexy, but their base is way too small to prevent slipping all the way in, and the slipperiness of lubed up stainless steel combined with the overall rather small “bullet” shape makes any accidents all the more likely to happen.
Plus, these features also mean that it may be extremely difficult even for medical professionals to remove this butt plug as the material, size and shape make it prone to move up higher and higher into the intestine the more one tries to get it out!
And this is my story:
I (31F) am no newbie to anal play and I thought I was being safe… never thought this would happen to me, until one night this supposedly anal safe toy disappeared all the way in my butt.
I cannot explain how stupid and scared I felt when it happened and the realization suddenly hit me that I had a sex toy stuck in my ass.
Thankfully, I got super lucky as I was still able to insert two fingers and hook them around the rim of the base a split second after my butt had sucked the toy completely in, and I was able to pull it out by myself.
I sat there in shock and disbelief for a while, and then threw out my fairly expensive toy, never to be used again.
I thought this was just some extremely rare freak accident, until I heard a few similar stories from other people in real life and online.
I know these jewel plugs are popular and many use them without any issues, but at the very least these toys should come with a big and bright warning on the packaging that this sort of thing can happen and has happened with this toy.
I think it’s fair to expect an anal sex toy to be designed to be safe for anal play and to prevent this sort of thing from happening.”
#5 — How I (Female) Learned To Love Anal Sex
Let's close it out with this lovely story of first time anal experience which is a great story of what does anal could feel like:
“When my fiancé first brought up the topic of anal sex i was terrified but i decided that i would try and learn to enjoy it for him.
I bought a small Tantus silicone anal probe that was about as big around as my index finger and after some trial and error figured out that if i pushed like i was having a bowel movement while maintaining steady pressure on the probe that i would “open up” and i could insert the probe without any pain.
I then moved to a slim hard plastic vibrator. I found that the vibrations would quickly make my anus open up.
Again the key was pushing like i was trying to have a bowel movement at the same time i was applying pressure to the vibrator.
Once i was able to take the vibrator i was able to handle a small glass butt plug which i started keeping in over night and wearing around the house during the day.
I was soon comfortable enough with the plug to allow my fiancé to insert it in me and to have it in during sex.
I then bought a larger glass butt plug that was about as big around as my fiancé and allowed him to put it in me the first time.
It took a little while. I pushed hard as i could straining so much i cried out but i opened up and the plugged popped in.
It was such a feeling of fullness that it sent what felt like waves of shivers of electricity thru me. It felt incredible.
I told my fiancé that i was going to sleep with the plug in and in the morning i wanted to let him try and put his cock in my ass.
We were both so excited we couldn’t sleep and finally decided to go ahead and just try it at about 2:00am.
His cock went in without any pain. I had not taken anything that long so the feeling of having something going that deep into me was new.
It was great for him too.
I’m on the pill but he’s been wearing a condom too for extra protection but i wanted him to be able to cum in me and he was fucking my ass without a condom.
The only time it actually hurt was when i came and was having contractions from my orgasm while he was trusting all the way in and out but he quickly realized what was happening and pushed all the way in and held there.
My contractions actually caused him to cum a moment later. It was absolutely wonderful.
I laid there thinking OMG this is going to be so much fun doing this.
It’s been several weeks now and I honestly think i like anal better than vaginal sex.
Not sure why but i was a little shy with the whole ass in the air spreading my cheeks thing.
It’s like peeing with the door to the bathroom open in front of your spouse. It doesn’t bother some women.
For others — it would embarrass to the point of tears.
My fiancé likes having the light on.
He gets off on the visuals of watching his cock going in and out of my ass.
I understand that but i still turned 50 shades of red the first few times i opened my ass to him but I think i’m pretty much past the blushing now.”
Bringing It All Together
There you have it…
I told you — you will be a butt plug and possibly anal sex expert when you're done!
At least in theory you know more than 99% beginners would!
Now go out, experiment and have tons of fun!
Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable experience with your partner after all! 👊