How To Talk Dirty & Sexy To Build Irresistible Sexual Tension
Curious to discover how to really talk dirty to awaken the sexual tension between you?
Yeah… nothing serves better as a foreplay as a nice, sexy dirty talk.
To be honest, it's more important for guys to learn how to talk dirty…
Women get aroused from dirty talk a lot more (usually), and they think it's the same way for guys…
But guys are more visual, they need to see naked body, striptease and sexy lingerie together WITH THE DIRTY TALK.
Just keep that in mind :)
Women need to learn how to TEASE the guy more… tease him with actions AND words.
This dirty talk guide will help for both men and women as I include tons of stories and examples of great dirty talk phrases from both perspectives.
Beware, the language will be dirty from now on like:
“You’re so cute and destroyable. I want to kiss you and choke you at the same time.”
“Mmmmmm I love it when he can’t decide if I’m adorable or fuckable. 😊”
Sounds good!? 🍷
Let's jump in:
Best non-traditional dirty talk you’ve ever heard?
Here are some incredible people dirty talk phrases:
“Stay where I fucking put you, please.”
“Girlfriend and I had a big fight and were doing makeup sex.
I was mad at her and decided to stop being sweet and just do whatever I wanted, quit worrying about her pleasure for once and take her how I pleased (this is what she enjoys, I wasn’t being an asshole).
Had her bent over my bed, I stood behind her with my fingers in her.
She kept squirming and moving so I grabbed a fistful of her hair and shoved her down into the bed.
I leaned over close to her ear and very sternly but calmly said “stay where I fucking put you, please.”
She swears it’s the hottest thing anyone’s ever said to her but I wasn’t trying to be sexy, I just wanted her to stay put.
“A previous partner was fluent in French, and basically anything sounded sexy.“
“She used to try and say things that were in no way sexy and see if I would pick up on it.
Sometimes I did, and sometimes she whispered ‘eat me like a Bunnings sausage’ to my total lack of knowledge.”
“My best line was just recently — a guy slipped his hands in my panties while we were making out and he groaned and said “You’re so wet I can already taste it” and I basically swooned.”
“My guy would test the waters so to speak on occasion.”
“We’d just start messing around and he go straight for his penis in my pussy.
To see how wet I was.
If I wasn’t already drenched he’d pull back out and tell me I wasn’t allowed to have it yet.
He’d be right there so close to being inside me but only kiss me while holding my hands down.
Instant turn-on every time.”
“My wife is the most amazing partner I’ve ever had. The ONLY thing she doesn't like is talking dirty. “
“Out of the blue one night after work she tells me to take off my pants and to “make a mess in my mouth”.
Later on cuddling in bed she confessed to Hearing that in a movie.
She’ll actually take notes on her phone for things to say.”
“Not sure if it counts, but I had someone start to count down from 10 to announce her orgasm. “
“Boy did she make me feel like a space-cadet.
Funny how her idea to try n sync up completely backfired.
“This countdown is really hot in a bondage setting when you start counting down the time left they have to try and cum.”
“When you reach zero and stop stimulating them and they let out that frustrated moan/whimper…
Music to my ears 🙈”
“My absolute favourite dirty talk phrase anyone has ever said to me was a decade ago.”
“My ex and I were having sex and he pushed my face into the pillow and said:
“I can’t handle your face and your pussy at the same time, I’m gonna fucking blow”.
Sexiest ego stroke to date.”
“I had had a rough day before a Tinder date that I had been looking forward to over the weekend. “
“(like, ruining a friendship because accidents happen and there’s nothing you can do about it)
This incident almost had me cancel our date, he offered to come help with wine and clean up, but everything resolved itself and we go on our date.
Things go well, I go back to his place, and we start knocking the boots.
He’s way more vocal than I’m used to, and he starts with the typical:
“Who’s dick is this?
That’s right, it’s your dick.”
Then he starts pumping with:
“You deserve it. You deserve it. You had a bad day. Shit happens. You survived.
You were stressed as fuck, but now you got this dick and you deserve it.”
Still think about it from time to time.
A top 5 experience for sure.”
“The aggressive tone of anything being said in German. “
“I don’t know German except for a few words, but I like the degrading feeling of such a strong language.
No, I do not accept “Wiener schnitzel” lines.
“ICH HOFFE SIE HATTEN EINEN SCHÖNEN TAG!”
Also, I got drunk and shared this with my mother once…
The disappointment of my little tiny Jewish mother was palpable.”
I can’t have kids, but my GF once moaned to me, just before I came, “Get me fucking pregnant.”
“That turned me on for some reason.
Another time, she said, “Drain your fucking balls inside me.”
“I was having sweaty passionate sex once and I whispered “I can’t think of anything sexy to say” in her ear… “
“We both died laughing…
…still together 8 years later.”
My ex used to put his hands on my pussy and ask “who owns this?” Or “who does this belong to?”.
“Used to turn me on so much.
In fact, whenever he’d do it in a nonsexual context — holding up a phone or a wallet and asking a room full of people “hey, whose is this?”
It was an instant turn-on moment for me.”
“I enjoy joking around with my girls tattoos as sort of a dirty talk. “
Our first night sleeping together, I noticed she had a portrait of a dog on her thigh, and while we were laying around naked, I asked her about it
“Is this your dog?”
“Yes! That’s Brutus. I love him.”
“He’s so cute.”
“Isn’t he? Such a sweet boy!”
I cover the dogs eyes .
“Don’t look. I’m about to go down on your master.”
“Hahaha, what the fuck?”
She still talks about it.”
I have a habit of moaning and saying “Oh my God” repeatedly during sex, and one time my ex (his name was James) replied with, “Jim will do, thanks.”
“I dunno why, but the arrogance with which he said it left me reeling.”
I was performing oral sex on a recent partner, and she exclaimed “oh my god”, so I retorted with “your god can’t help you now”.
“She then pulled my face up to look me in the eyes and said “you are my god” before allowing me to continue.
Probably the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“My last hookup went soft when he put the condom on so he asked me if I could help him get hard again. “
“I said that he was:
“just a body attached to a dick I wanted to fuck and being soft serves me no purpose.”
Never seen anyone get so hard so quickly with words in my life.”
“My fiancé and I have had some AMAZING dirty talk during sex when we played with a dildo and simulated a threesome! “
“So we pretended the dildo was another man and I asked my girl all sorts of questions like:
- if she liked his cock,
- if it felt good,
- where she wanted both of us to cum, etc..”
“You can’t go wrong with teasing!”
“I usually like to transition foreplay by straight up whispering how much I’ve missed having my lips around his cock.
Tell him basically what you want to do to him and make him visualise it.
At this point it’s nice to be on top leaning forwards so you can kiss his neck and press your boobs against his chest.
Bonus points for slowly sliding over him and comment how wet he’s made you.
Sit up and make him watch.
You can basically take this time to build him up with your words, before giving him a blowjob, pin his arm overs his head and tell him he doesn’t get to fuck you until he’s dripping on your tongue.”
“Anything where I’m being called a slut, whore, bitch, and that I’m owned. “
“I’m so hard for you”, MAKES ME MELT.”
“This guy I was seeing is the best with dirty talk. “
“Some gems that honestly turn me on just thinking about them:
“You’re not allowed to touch yourself until I see you next.
You’re going to be a good girl for me.
I want you desperate and begging for me when you see me.
I want that pretty little pussy dripping with anticipation”
Got this text a few days before I was to see him, and then he would randomly text me filthy things just to get me turned on.
“When I get home from work, I’m going to be hungry. So what better to eat than your silky wet pussy?
You better have my dinner ready for me”
“In my early twenties, I was dating a woman who, during the first makeout session of our relationship…”
“Bit my lower lip (a first for me) and proceeded to lick up my neck to my ear and whispered, and I quote:
“I’m going to steal your fucking kidneys.”
Audible gasps were gasped.
To this day I have never experienced such raw sexual energy.”
“I had a friend with benefits who was Iranian. “
“She used to call me her “big American man” and stuff like that referencing my nationality.
Shit turned me on something insane!
Also turned out she was a bit of a nutter, but the sex was amazing.”
“My boyfriend started calling me by my first name and his last name…”
“Then tells me i’m a dumb whore that he owns and i almost instantly cum every time.”
“How To Talk Dirty During Sex?”
You like this don’t you? You slut…
Teasing me all the time? This is what happens….
Don’t pretend you haven’t been dreaming about this dick all this time…
Don’t pretend you aren’t loving this… I can feel how wet you are you dirty slut…
This is what whores like you are good for…
You’re just a place to put my dick…
That’s a good girl, just accept it, this is what you were made to do…”
There’s so many things you can say and so many ways to say them…”
Kick in the door, point at her and yell, “bitch, your ass is mine!” 😂
“On a more serious note, I think there’s a really wide range of ways to go about it.
I suggest talking to her about limits and asking if there is anything she doesn’t want to hear before going through with it.
That being said, here are some ideas:
“Keep fighting, baby”
“Cry for me”
You can tell her to shut up when she makes noise.
If she doesn’t stop say something like “bitch, I said be quiet!”
Then cover her mouth or put a pillow case over her head.
Stuff like “you’re so wet, you know you want it,” “you know you like it,” “you’re so wet it’s pathetic, you wanted this.”
Depending on the scene, something like “this is what happens when you tease me/break the rules,” “bad girls get their pussy/ass/holes punished,” “this is all your fault,” can be hot.
Order her to do things like spread her legs, bend over, get on her knees, hold still.
“Shhh, it’s almost over” whispered in her ear.
“See, it wasn’t that bad, right?”
How to get better at dirty talk?
How do you practice it?
How do you stop being embarrassed about talking dirty?
For some sexy talk comes natural… for some not so much.
For example, I'm not a great dirty talker, but I practice it like this…
I find these kind of dirty talk stories and then just start practicing them.
They do come out awkward and I cringe sometimes…
But practice makes better. Over time I got really good at simply saying things I notice during sex that I find incredibly sexy.
Compliments are the easiest dirty talk ever.
I compliment her sexy ass, and I practice using dirty words like:
- cock instead of penis
- calling her “my fucking whore” instead of something sweet (which would be natural)
- pulling her hair (which I know she loves
- cunt — instead of pussy (“I love how wet your sweet, little cunt is”)
You get better by practicing… :)
Outside of bedroom you can ask her/him what kind of dirty talk turns her on, so you know which direction you should go with! ;)
Like I would never call my girlfriend whore…if she wouldn't say it once herself — “Fuck me, like I am your dirty whore”.
Green light right there! :)
Here are more tips from other people:
“In my opinion, dirty talk is like an improv performance. “
“It’s not 100% real, it’s more like play acting.
It’s more like two adults playing a game.
So try to imagine a character that you will play when you dirty talk.
You aren’t just you, you are now “Cynthia MayWeather” and she is like you but much more sexually liberated and loud and proud and enthusiastic and a sex goddess.”
“Watch/listen to porn featuring Riley Reid. (for women)”
“She’s probably one of the best dirty talkers in the industry.
I know this sounds dumb, but it’s probably exactly what he’s looking for.”
“As Dan Savage always says:”
- Say what you just did
- Say what you’re doing now
- Say what you’re about to do
“Hottest dirty talk thing I ever did was, many years ago, “make” a partner tell me that they wanted me to fuck them. “
“I got the idea when I asked what her fantasy was, and she told me it was to be raped.
I’m a nice guy and not very experienced, so I certainly wasn’t down for role playing that.
However, I held her arms above her head and made her say “I want you to fuck me.”
It took her three attempts before she submitted because of her shyness and embarrassment.
First, she said “I want you to do me”, then it was ” I want you to make love to me.”
Nope, not good enough.
The 3x, I demanded that she say it explicitly.
The next week, I got a lesson in “girl talk” when one of her friend’s laughingly and admiringly informed me that I really got in her friend’s head with what I made her say.
Hmmmm, Note to Self: Some girls share everything.”
“Oh god, that dick feels so fucking good. Oh yes, daddy. “
“You like that way that pussy feels wrapped around that cock?
Oh yes, you fuck me so good baby, You like the way I suck daddy’s cock?
God I’m so wet for you baby.
Yes, fuck me baby.
Any of those will do.
Just start with small things, and you will eventually get more comfortable once you see how much he likes it.”
“I would say just try some basic dirty talk lines and then if you actually like it you will probably feel more comfortable and come up with them on your own.”
“Fuck daddy” “Fuck *insert name here*” “take me” “oh yeah”
I know these may sound stupid when you say them but post guys response will entice you for more.
I also think guys really like to have a little direction so things like “fuck me harder” or “just like that” can give some guidance.”
“Tell him where you want it or what you want”
“Do you want it in the ass?”
”I want it in my mouth please”
“Can I choke you?”
”I want you to hold my tits”
“Redirection is key to good improvisation. “
“Saying “no” outright can shut things down in the moment sometimes, so in improv music and theater participants are encouraged to run with whatever anyone else does.
This translates to dirty talk by agreeing with and amping up the things you do like to hear and redirecting the things you don’t want to do.
Like, for example of “do you want it in your ass?” you could respond with “no baby this feels too good, don’t stop!” and add in some redirecting:
“keep fucking me just like that.”
“I have found that elaborating on the things he already likes to hear is a good start. “
“If he likes to hear how he makes you feel, don’t just say “you make me feel really good”, tell him how wet he makes you, elaborate on how you are dripping for him to the point its almost embarrassing (especially if you are more the shy type).
Ask him if he wants to see/touch you.
Show him by touching yourself and displaying your fingers.
If you aren’t too shy, make a little show of sucking them clean.
Ask him if he wants a taste.
These are all very simple notions, and don’t require a heck of a lot of creativity.
But the thing about dirty talk is while it is great on its own, when you back it up with actions, it becomes a hundred times more seductive and real.”
Dirty Talking With My Girlfriend?
“Tell her she’s hot. Sexy. How much you want her. “
“Damn, you’re sexy. Mmm you smell good. I’ve been waiting to touch you all day.
It doesn’t need to be awkward.
Women’s brains are different than yours.
You’re visual. We’re often auditory.
Use it to your advantage.”
Here's another great video with so many dirty talking tips during sex:
“Over text or in person? In person it usually helps to be physical while doing it. “
“Like hold her and put your face in her hair and tell her that her hair smells good.
Kiss on her neck and moan and be like I can’t wait to take you back to my house later.
Slap her ass and tell her how sexy she looks when she walks. Get hard and putt your dick on her butt and whisper in her ear.
You like how That feels on your ass.
Are you wet as fuck right now , how bad do you want my dick.
Can i fuck you right here right now.
You basically just gotta get the juices flowing by being physical with her.
Literally touching her and rubbing her kissing her holding her hand.
And literally blurt out anything sexual you are feeling in the moment.
She will probably exchange some dirty talk as well and you guys can just feed on each other’s lust for each other.
But usually is awkward when you are just blurting out these sexual statements without physical contact imo.
But you can also flirt with her by not touching her.
Look in her eyes.
Make her laugh. Compliment.
Talk about her ass /tits .
Talk about past sex experiences.
Talk about fetishes etc.”
“There’s a difference between “dirty” talk as most people mean by it, and sexy / sexually explicit talk.”
“I’m really averse to what most people think of as “dirty” talk, because it contains a lot of degrading language, often people using words like “dirty”, “slut”, using words like “fuck” a lot.
This stuff ranges somewhere between a turnoff to awkward to actively uncomfortable for me.
Even when it doesn’t bother me it’s hard for me to take it seriously; it makes me feel emotionally distant from a situation when someone talks like this.
On the other hand I love a partner telling me stuff during sex and also texting or messaging me random stuff about our sexual connection throughout the day.
Every person is unique, and you will have to ask her about what types of talk she likes / dislikes.
Some things I really like include people telling me things they like about my body, people telling me I’m sweet, beautiful, loving, that I turn them on, telling me that they like certain ways I’m touching them, that they think about doing those things when I’m not there.
I especially like when we’ve just done something together and the other person tells me they want to do it again some time soon.
I also like people being really silly.
I usually have certain “inside words” just between the two of us, in a particular relationship.
Some of them might come across as really ridiculous from the outside, but I think making up your own special language can be part of the fun of it.
It’s okay to have some missteps…sometimes a partner has used a particular word, not realizing how much it bothers me.
For example, to me, the word “pussy” is much worse than the word “cunt”.
I think this is because I associate the word “pussy” with teenage boys bullying themselves and it also has a connotation of weakness and cowardice, and I dislike the word and connotations.
“Cunt” is widely considered “dirtier” but I like the strength of the word as well as its strong taboo.
A lot of people though react oppositely to these words.
This is just an illustration of how you can’t predict how people react to this stuff.
I have also accidentally made some ex’s really uncomfortable by using words I thought were totally harmless but they reacted really negative too.
Relationships work when people express their boundaries and needs and are patient with each other, but also listen to each other and adjust their behavior accordingly!”
Bringing It All Together
I hate to be a broken record — but communication is everything.
You gotta know your girl or man and adjust the way you can talk to him.
This is the key to building a great sexual tension.
So take these ideas, try them and adjust..!
You cannot expect to become great at dirty talk overnight, it takes practice :)
But you've progressed greatly by just reading this guide!
And…if you're looking for a lot more ideas on dirty, sexual talk, check out Reddit GoneWileAudio subreddit. (NSFW — but verbal NSFW)