40 Dirty, Cute & Funny Pick Up Lines & Real Stories That Worked
Are you preparing for your night out? 🍹
Looking for fresh ideas to use as ice breakers? 🍦
Then this guide is for you! 👊
You'll find tons of extremely smart and also funny pickup lines that worked on real people…!
Not just cheesy lines ( though you'll find those too), but lines that you can actually pull off and make work!
Read on and remember it's not about being confident — it's about being courageous to approach!
“My first kiss was with my best friend at the time in middle school.”
“He bet me a quarter that he could kiss me without touching my lips.
I thought he was just going to kiss my cheek or hand or something and say I owed him a quarter, but he really kissed me, pulled a quarter out of his pocket, pressed it in my hand and said ‘worth it.’”
It wasn’t used on me but I overheard a conversation between this guy with a heavy French accent and some girl I front of me in an economics class.
I wasn’t really paying attention till I heard him say:
“Let me take you out for ice cream, you look like you’d enjoy some French Vanilla”
I almost died.
She said no, and I later found out he wasn’t even French, just very good at accents.”
To mix it up here's a funny guy using cheesy pickup lines while filming himself… :D
A guy once walked up to me and said “Hey, I’d like to give you a kiss”.
“He then held out a bag of Hershey’s Kisses, waited for me to take one, then walked away and left me alone.
…It was honestly one of the greatest pickups I’ve ever seen.
10/10 Had sex.
This used to work for me.
Me — “Excuse me, are you a friend of <my name>?”
Her — No, I don’t know him.
Me — Allow me to introduce myself, I’m <my name>”
Caveat, this was over 50 years ago.
I once heard a drunken average-looking kinda nerdy guy say this to a hot chick:
Do you want to have gooooood sex?
— Uhmm.. sorry, no?
Well come to my place!
Orders two shots of tequila with lime and hands one to me saying, “This is my pickup lime.”
“You know, it’d be a lot easier for me to sweep you off your feet if you stood up…”
She stood up, I had no idea what to do.
Sweep the leg!
I don’t like when people hit on me at work, but this one made me chuckle.
I’m a baker and I was putting some hamburger buns on the shelf.
A guy walked up behind me and said “hey nice buns.”
Simple, but I laughed.
“At a college party, this guy came up to me asked “How much does a polar bear weigh? “
“Enough to break the ice.”
My name's ____!”
“Drop some limes at their feet and fumble around while looking like your trying to pick them up. “
Once you have their attention, look up:
“Sorry, I’m just really bad at pick up limes”
“The one that worked the best on me was a guy who had learned a memorization trick.”
“You give them 30 words and they remember each one in order, and recite them back to you after an hour.
It seems way more impressive when everyone is drunk though, and makes a great ice breaker for starting a conversation.”
“Sitting in a cafe doing homework.”
“I hear a guy go, “I’m not trying to weird, I’m just trying to figure out what kind of math you’re doing, because I think you’re doing it wrong.”
He was right and helped me out.
Asked me out in a date afterwards and we’re been together 7 years, married almost more than half of that.”
“I was walking around the produce section of the grocery store when I was about 21, and this man (prob in his 70’s) suddenly approached me. “
He goes, “Whatever you do, don’t go in the frozen food aisle!”
I was caught off guard and said, “What? Why?”
And he broke out into a grin and said, “Because you’ll melt EVERYTHING!”
I just burst out laughing.
Still makes me smile to this day.
“My magic watch says you’re about to make out with me”
“Well, I’m not.”
“Ah shoot, it’s 15 minutes fast”
“How you doin’?”
“Baby, I didn’t ask you how you look, I asked how you doin’.”
The delivery was as good as the line was, too.
“Went to a McDonald’s when I was in highschool. “
There was a guy I knew sweeping the floor when three girls walked in and he said:
“Careful ladies… I might just sweep you off your feet.”
Couldn’t help but laugh.
Just hand her a note that says “Hi, I’m from Iceland and I don’t speak any English. Will you look after me?”.
“Act like you don’t even understand your own note.
Whatever she says, just shrug and look confused.
NB: This doesn’t work in Iceland.”
“One night with you is worth 18 years of child support.”
Thank you, Tinder.
A guy was dancing in a club, holding a pillow.
Girls would go up to him and ask “what’s with the pillow?”
It’s a chick magnet.
Extend your hand…
“Would you mind holding this while I go for a walk?”
“I’d like to buy you breakfast tomorrow morning.
Should I call you or nudge you?”
“A friend of mine picked up his now-wife by walking up to her group and asking who among them had low standards.”
“Heard you like bad boys, well I’m bad at everything.”
Blink instead of winking.
“Have you got an ugly boyfriend?”
“Do you want one?”
Best in the bar/pub setting.
“Hey, my buddies over there point at friends think you are cute but for some reason none has the guts to tell you.”
This was generality followed by laugh or a smirk and that how you introduce your self and start chitchat.
It's an amazing Ice breaker.”
A Super cheesy pickup line.
“If you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple ;)
If you were a vegetable, I’d visit you in the hospital.”
“Best pickup line was actually accidental, but it made me laugh and we would up talking for a bit after.”
“But this dude comes up to me in a bar and goes
“hey. So…I’m a girl” then pauses..
…looks horrified and goes “I meant YOU’RE a girl!”
….then looks even MORE horrified and goes “fuck, that isn’t even good that way!”
Guy — “Hey, you want some good sex tonight?”
Girl — “No”
Guy — “You came to the right place then”
“I can’t cook a good lasagna, but I can cook a great lasagna.”
That got me.
“Hi my name is John. If anyone is looking to make a mistake tonight I'm the man.”
I wasn’t, but damn I thought that was funny.
“I was a security guard for Seahawks games, and we had to wear yellow jackets, black caps, and black slacks.”
At the end of the game, we were going through and clearing out all the drunk people.
Then this one guy I was helping to the door looked at me up and down and said “You look like a cab driver….you should take me home” and then winked at me.
I told him it was a great line and to use it on someone else.
“I was handling the paperwork and tax explanations for a company that was switching all of their sales people to W2.”
“I got a text from one of the salesmen that said, “Are you my last 1099 check? Because I want 100% of you.“
It didn’t work in the slightest but it did make me laugh.”
I work at a sandwich place and these two girls asked “what’s good here?”
I said, unintentionally, “Well that depends what kinda meat do you like ?”
Girl looks at her friend and goes “You know what kinda meat I like.”
I was walking out of a book store when a guy told me I had dropped something.
I looked at the floor thinking I had dropped a receipt or something.
The guy then replies “my jaw”.
My dumbass didn’t realize it until I got to the car.
My buddy and I went to the bar and a good looking girl was kinda popping her head up looking around for someone next to us…
He said “Hi I’m right here”
She went home with him.
This guy was flirting with me so hard, using puns for everything we were doing and all that stuff.
I told him if he didn’t stop I was going to throw something at him and he replied “only if you throw yourself!”.
We’ve been married for 3 years!
While sitting at a bar one night, he was showing me his new iPhone.
I think it was iPhone 7, as there was enough new stuff that warranted him showing it off.
Girl next to him asks if it’s the new iPhone, he says yes.
She asks for his favorite feature, and he says “This” while handing her the phone.
It was the New Contact screen.
She just smiled and put in her name and number.
My husband actually got me with my favorite one. It’s a bit weird, but it worked.
He sat down next to me and said: “Fat penguin.”
So I was like “What?”
So he goes, “Well it breaks the ice doesn’t it?
My name is Steve, and yours must be beautiful.”
He bought me a drink and we’ve been together 5 years.
I’m from Arizona.
Some guy stopped dead in his tracks & said “Whoa, the temperature today is 110 and I think I just figured out why.”
Mostly it was his confidence and smirk that sold me.
But that line was pretty damn good too.
Bringing It All Together
Did you notice commonalities? :)
- Cute confidence works… :)
- The Icebreakers work…
- and also smart actions work…! :)
Like helping with math… memorising the names…
I remember I used the trick I learned from Neil Strauss back in the day…
I was using it after I broke the initial ice:
— Do you wanna play a game? (games are great conversation starters)
— Imagine a number from 1–10 in your head. You've got it?
— I snap the finger and say — “7”.
50% of the times it will be the number she thought of :)
If not, repeat the game 1–5 (the most common number people think of is 3).
It works cause you make it fast, snap decision and the number is 7 or 3.
But the takeaway is… :)
Smart games, cute icebreakers work!
Go out there, have fun and good luck! 🍷
Sweep her off the floor!
Oh…and then the next step is to actually learn to be great in bed and know how to give her nice orgasms.