What Is It Like Dating a Cougar? Learn about Cougar Women

Daisy Mae
10 min readJul 4, 2024

So, you’ve recently met an older woman who has caught your eye, and now you’re wondering if dating her is a good idea. Dating an older woman can be different from dating someone your age, but it can be a rewarding and wonderful relationship.

What younger men should know before dating older women? Keep reading to learn.

What Is It Like Dating a Cougar

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Who Are Cougar Women?

“Cougars” are often described as women in their 40s or older who date significantly younger men, typically with an age gap of at least 10 years. Pop culture often portrays cougars as predatory and desperate, which is a stereotype that many women are actively challenging.

In reality, these women are often confident, successful, and single, choosing to date younger men because they find them more energetic and open-minded compared to men their own age. These younger partners bring a sense of adventure and vitality that aligns with the cougars’ zest for life.

The term “cougar” has evolved from its negative connotations to symbolize empowerment and choice. Women in this age group are often established in their careers, financially independent, and clear about what they want in a relationship. They are not settling for the traditional expectations placed upon them but are instead pursuing connections that bring them joy and excitement.

When is a Woman Called a Cougar?

People have various opinions on when a woman qualifies as a cougar. Some believe it’s when a woman pursues men who are over eight years younger than her. Others think the term is only for women over 50 who date men in their 20s and 30s.

It’s generally agreed that cougars are different from ‘pumas’. Pumas are women under 40 who date younger men, while cougars are usually women in their 40s, 50s, or older who seek men at least 10 years younger.

Identifying a Cougar — How to Know an Older Woman Can Be a Cougar?

Identifying a cougar woman involves observing certain characteristics that often distinguish them. Here are some key traits to look out for:

This Mature Woman Look Really Hot as for Her Age

Cougar women typically take great care of their appearance. They often have a well-maintained, youthful look, despite their age. This might include a fit physique, stylish haircuts, and flawless skin. They often invest time and resources into skincare, fitness, and overall health, which helps them maintain an attractive and vibrant appearance.

Most Women of “Cougar Tribe” Have a Good Fashion Style

When it comes to fashion, cougar women tend to have a sophisticated and chic style. They know what looks good on them and aren’t afraid to embrace bold, trendy, or elegant outfits. Whether it’s a classy evening dress, a tailored suit, or trendy casual wear, their fashion sense often reflects confidence and a keen eye for detail. Accessories are also a big part of their style, from statement jewelry to designer handbags.

Dating a Cougar

Older Women Are Confident

One of the most noticeable traits of a cougar woman is her confidence. She exudes a self-assured presence and carries herself with poise. This confidence is not just about how she looks but also about how she interacts with others. Cougar women often have a magnetic personality, able to engage in meaningful conversations and express their thoughts clearly and assertively. They are comfortable in their own skin and know what they want in life and relationships.

These Mature Women Often Achieve Social and Professional Success

Cougar women are often successful in their careers and social lives. They have likely achieved a lot professionally and have a network of friends and acquaintances. Their success and independence are attractive qualities that draw younger men. They are not looking for someone to support them financially but rather someone who can match their energy and zest for life.

She Is Open and Direct

A cougar woman is typically very open and direct about her intentions. She doesn’t play games and is straightforward about what she wants. This transparency is refreshing for many younger men, who appreciate the clarity and honesty in these relationships. She knows how to communicate effectively and is not afraid to discuss her needs and desires.

How to Date Real Cougars — Alison Tells about Cougar Life Dating

For cougar women, the thrill of the chase is a thing of the past. We’ve got fulfilling lives, and whether you ask for our number or not won’t make or break our evening. That’s why we sit back with amusement while you try out your pick-up lines. Be creative and put in the effort — you need to earn your cougar cred.

When you make plans with us, stick to them. Don’t blow us off to hang out with your friends. If you set a date, show up on time. Don’t make us wait, don’t say you’ll text later, and don’t cancel last minute because you’re too stoned or caught up in a video game. We’ve dealt with that behavior before, and it’s not fun now.

Make up for any lack of maturity with foreplay. Flirty emails and texts asking what we’re wearing are always a hit. In the bedroom, the more you can do without making us put down our glass of wine, the better.

Lastly, be willing to teach and be taught. Whether it’s shuffleboard, comic book heroes, or the latest iPhone app, if you enjoy it and it makes us feel younger, we’re interested. However, don’t pretend to be an expert in areas you’re not. Leave the finer things, like selecting wine, to us.

Dating a Cougar woman

Not All Cougars Are Moms and Divorced

Some guys think a cougar is an older divorced woman looking for fun after an unhappy marriage. Others believe a cougar is a single mom looking to relax with a younger man.

These ideas aren’t always true.

A woman’s family situation doesn’t define her as a cougar.

Some cougars are divorced, with or without kids, while others just enjoy being single.

So, what is a cougar? She’s really whatever she wants to be. In the past, women were often judged by their marital status and children. Today, they’re valued for their own merits. They don’t need marriage or kids to feel important.

If a woman wants marriage and kids, she should feel free to pursue them — whether she marries someone her age, waits for love while building her career, or enjoys time with a younger man whenever she wants.

Benefits of Dating a Cougar Woman

Dating a cougar woman can offer unique and exciting experiences. Here are some benefits:

  1. Cougar women often have more life experience and confidence. They know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it, which can make for a refreshing and mature relationship.
  2. Cougars are typically independent and self-sufficient. They have established careers, interests, and lives, so, unlike younger women, they won’t be overly dependent on their partners for emotional or financial support.
  3. Older women tend to have a better understanding of themselves and others. They handle conflicts with more grace and are less likely to play games, leading to a more stable and drama-free relationship.
  4. Cougar women are often past the stage of feeling pressured to marry or have children, so there’s less stress about long-term commitments early on. This allows the relationship to develop naturally.
  5. Dating an older woman can provide opportunities for personal growth. She can offer valuable advice and mentorship based on her life experiences, helping you grow and mature.
  6. Older women often have a high level of confidence and experience in the bedroom, leading to a more satisfying and adventurous sex life. They know what they want and are comfortable exploring new things.
Dating a mature woman

Are Such Age Gap Relationships Under the Social Pressure?

Age gap relationships, particularly those involving cougar women, can indeed be subject to social pressure. Society often has double standards when it comes to these types of relationships. While it’s generally more accepted for older men to date younger women, older women dating younger men can face more scrutiny and criticism. People might make unfair assumptions about the relationship, questioning the motivations and dynamics involved.

Family and friends might also have strong opinions. They could be concerned about the age difference and its implications for the future, such as differing life stages, health issues, or societal acceptance. These concerns, while sometimes rooted in care, can add stress to the relationship.

Moreover, media portrayals and cultural narratives often reinforce negative stereotypes about cougar relationships. These portrayals can influence public perception, leading to further social pressure. Both partners might feel the need to constantly defend their relationship or prove its legitimacy.

Is a Young Guy = Boy Toy for Cougar Girls? — Explanation from Robert, Cougar Dating Expert

The term “boy toy” might come up when talking about young men dating older women, but it doesn’t capture the full picture. While some cougar women might enjoy casual relationships with younger men, many are looking for serious, meaningful connections.

For many cougar women, dating a younger man isn’t just about having fun. They can form deep, committed relationships that are built on mutual respect and shared interests. Age doesn’t define the seriousness of a relationship — it’s the emotional connection and compatibility that matter most.

Meet Cougars on the Best Cougar Online Dating Sites

There are many popular dating sites that cater for playing games and building long term relationship with ladies years older. Choose a dating website that fits your interests the most.

CougarPourMoi

CougarPourMoi

alternative for male sugar babies seeking wealthy sugar mommas. This platform boasts over 200,000 users monthly and has been reputable since 2011. While it’s especially popular in Europe, with 70% of its audience being French, you can find potential companions from around the globe.

This Canadian sugar dating site offers diverse features, including a Like gallery, a convenient search tool, and flirtcasts that allow you to send messages to multiple members at once. The pricing is reasonable, starting at just $0.99 a day.

Advantages

  • 5 free chats for basic members
  • A lot of communication tools
  • High verification standards

Disadvantages

  • Limited trial membership
  • Mobile app is not available

CougarLife

CougarLife

CougarLife is a premier dating site for older women seeking younger men. Established in 2006, it has become one of the most popular platforms for cougar dating, boasting millions of members worldwide. The site is designed to cater to the needs of both cougars and cubs, offering a safe and engaging environment for building relationships.

CougarLife provides various features to enhance the dating experience, including advanced search filters, private messaging, and virtual gifts. The platform is user-friendly and offers a mobile app for convenient on-the-go access.

Advantages

  • Popular site with millions of members
  • User-friendly interface
  • Mobile app available
  • Advanced search filters and private messaging
  • Safe and engaging environment for cougar dating

Disadvantages

  • Limited features for free members
  • Subscription can be pricey for premium features

SecretBenefits

SecretBenefits

If you’re searching for top-notch sugar daddy websites in Canada, check out SecretBenefits. It’s one of the best platforms for meeting young or affluent individuals quickly. The site offers a variety of communication options, including video chat for premium users. With 13 million members, you’re sure to find a match. Pricing starts at $59, unlocking all the best features, including unlimited messages and access to full profiles.

Advantages

  • Numerous chatting features
  • A lot of guys meet older women there
  • Anonymity

Disadvanatages

  • Customer support is not very responsive
  • No mobile app

Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison stands out for its flexibility, offering numerous ways to have so much fun with couggar girls. While it may be more challenging to find a cougar lady specifically, as it caters to casual dating, flings, and other types of relationships, it remains one of the top sites for cougar dating. Its user-friendly interface allows you to filter through nearby users and find matching profiles quickly.

The site operates on a credit-based system, making it easy to manage your budget. You can buy your first 100 credits for just $59.

Advantages

  • Many dating possibilities
  • Reputable website
  • Pay-as-you-go system

Advantages

  • More time needed to find a cougar girl

SugarDaddy.com

SugarDaddy.com

SugarDaddy, established in 2004, is one of the most reputable sugar daddy sites around. With nearly a million members, it’s a reliable platform for sugar dating. The site requires sugar daddies in Canada to verify their income, while female members must pass photo verification, ensuring authenticity. Privacy is a priority, with features like anonymous search and profile hiding.

Advantages

  • Highly secure and well-established site
  • Numerous communication options
  • Strong privacy features like anonymous search and profile hiding
  • Verification processes ensure authenticity

Disadvantages

  • No mobile app

Conclusion

Whether you’re seeking fun, mentorship, or a deep connection, dating a cougar can open up new possibilities and enrich your romantic life.

Hopefull, after reading this article, you understand who cougar ladies are and at which dating apps you can find cougars for short and long term dating.

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Daisy Mae

What happens when you are recently divorced and 52, and jump into online dating?