The Truth About The Male Ego

The election has been over for three months now. #EvilElmo won, and to be honest I haven’t really cared that he won since the night of the election. I’m not a sore loser, I haven’t been since I was 6, and when it was announced that he won I made a decision right in that moment. I nodded to my friends and we vowed, with steely immigrant powered resolve, to both continue to post on social media and use those same posts to protest his admitted desires to destroy many things that we held dear. You see, we weren’t making up the things he said. He actually said he wanted to do all of these things, and the first 27 days have shown that he is absolutely a man of his word. A man, in fact, that i’ve chosen to protest for the remaining 1,434 days. That is of course my choice, as the son of a single immigrant mother. It is also my god-given right as an American to protest for what I hold dear like the founding fathers did, and i’ve thankfully never needed your permission to do in much of the same fashion you never asked me for my permission to host mock lynchings for President Obama. You see, even if I didn’t agree with HOW you were protesting how could I as a man of color and as a member of a consistently silenced group of marginalized individuals tell you to keep your mouth shut with a straight face? It wouldn’t even make any sense, and aside from not being a sore loser i’m also not a hypocrite. The rationale that we should somehow stop protesting drives me to guffaw from deep in my belly because It was just 6 months ago that members of your party decided to protest President Obama’s bestowed right to name a Supreme Court Justice. Did you ever question how long your standard bearers would keep up their protest? Probably not. You see, the male ego is a crazy thing because if left unchecked it forces us as men to be selfish and only look out for whatever impacts us directly. #EvilElmo’s win helps that direct impact, so I understand. Believe me I do. Let me tell you how my ego went about its business after the election.

I made it a point to understand how a campaign driven by so much hate and minimal tangible policies won. I spoke to friends of mine, both democrat and conservative alike, and very few people could offer an actual reason why he won. Sure, some offered up weak points flowing in each direction but everyone seemed to be speaking from a sense of shock. I understood, as I was shocked for a bit myself. Here we are a month in and it seems everyone is still REALLY confused as we start to get word of failed military operations, sit through bizarre press conferences that really make you question what kind of dimension we are in, and see executive orders targeting the often forgotten fired off at a rapid pace. I go back to the people that told me they voted for him and even they can’t articulate why without it sounding like a Fox News talking point. I’ve yet to meet a woman that voted for him, and maybe that’s the perspective i’m missing. On a campaign that spoke to some people’s deep rooted fears about whether this country was set up for them to be successful in it, I went to the men that elected him because I think I knew where the answers lied. The numbers don’t lie; 69% of white men voted for him, and compare that with past candidates like Romney and McCain who ran AGAINST a black man and it’s absolutely staggering. After numerous conversations, I settled on this for some: It’s a scary time for folks and fear has proven to be a healthy and unhealthy motivator for people to do some irrational things. Voting for #EvilElmo would constitute as one of those irrational things. Voting for him instead of the most qualified candidate in modern politics would also constitute as one of those irrational things. Voting for him instead of her isn’t irrational, and it’s something that stems from the most fragile thing on this earth: the male ego, and the men’s desire to make sure it isn’t destroyed.

Too many people will tell you that they did not vote for Hillary Clinton because of her mishandling of Benghazi, and her role in the Clinton Foundation’s numerous (I use this word loosely) scandals. Oscar Wilde once said “all women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.” I think some men couldn’t stomach that a man, no matter how unqualified he was, could lose to a woman no matter how qualified she was despite them being physically brought into this world by a woman. We claim to love women, but do we ever really love them more than we love ourselves? Will we ever pass up a position of power that we are ill-qualified for in favor of a woman that is clearly head and shoulders above us? How would our egos handle such a defeat? Stack the two candidates’s resumes against each other, and they don’t even come close. This would be like if Kobe Bryant was going against John Salley for the right to be called the greatest of all time. And yet, somehow, enough people actually pulled the lever for John Salley. It’s the most absurd thing, but one that speaks to the fragility of our masculine egos and how deep down inside some of us cannot believe that a woman deserved something more than us. How else do you explain the constant attacks spinning from religious beliefs on Planned Parenthood despite the statistics showing that it’s an agency actually helps women? Everyone wants to be Pro-Life when it comes to controlling a woman’s body, but no one wants to be Pro-Life when it comes time to adopt the numerous children in foster care. What exactly is the difference? Is it that being a single mother that carried her child is a burden only a woman can bear, and children are the only way most men know how to control a woman? Is the belief from most men in power that they can decide what a woman should do with something they’ll never carry themselves? Did they in turn become afraid because if a woman ascended to the highest office in the land, that this would show women around the world that they can both be mothers and Presidents? That they have the power to breastfeed and control nuclear codes? That they can both survive c-sections and hundreds of hours of hearings?

That must’ve scared the men enough to drive them to vote for someone that clearly doesn’t know what they’re doing. Maybe it is irrational, because from what I’ve gathered we all want what is best for the country. At least, that’s what ya’ll keep telling me.