A Lesson on Writing Craft
From an expert on writing craft
“To be, or not to be, that is the question.”
Not bad, but let’s see what we can do to tighten it up. Your first rule is to be brief. No unneeded words. I like to look out for repetition. What jumps out right away is the waste of words with “to be”. Let’s kill a darling:
“To be, or not, that is the question.”
Okay, better. We’ve gone from ten words to eight. Agents are picky about word count. We can also cut word count down by substituting a couple of words:
“Being or not that’s the question.”
You’ll want to note that we’ve also lost the commas. Basically Hemingway killed the comma.
Next rule to keep in mind: no telling. You want to show, not tell. The big tell here is that we’re telling the reader it’s a question. Trust readers to know this:
“Being or not.”
Okay, so, our new version isn’t bad as prose. From a craft perspective, this is solid.
But now the problem is, what’s this trying to say, actually?
You can see that, by cutting away the fat, we’ve revealed there’s no meat underneath. I’d say this author has made a classic amateur mistake: starting too early. I suspect the story really begins much later in the text.
Well, that’s all for today. If you like what you see, be sure to click like and subscribe, and I’ll see you in the comments.