Interpretation | Perspective
The way you describe things has a lot to do with how it is interpreted. Things haven’t been easy when viewed from an expectation POV.
In conversing over the last few months with specific individuals I could have described the experience as pulling teeth. If I’d not lost trust, I might have communicated my position more clearly without getting all Magnum PI on people. I don’t even think I’ve watched Magnum PI but by now everyone should get the drift, I think.
I would say I am far from a player but it would be more accurate to say I used to be far from a player. I’ve always had the tendency to be very open with my feelings privately but exercised restraint/conviction when faced with tests outside of what I deemed acceptable.
During the last few months, I had a very logical approach to an emotional experience. I appeared to defy logic with the unique method I used to analyze concepts. Initially, it confused me, then a few months back it was as clear as day.
I am mostly aware of why people get confused because I shared/projected confusion while I was figuring things out and I had done a poor job of highlighting/documenting where exactly I was at each point of discovery.
A lot of this current difficulty started when I decided to redefine my mania as being a free-spirit. Personally, I get very intense, but for the most part, I tried to channel it.
My current situation came down to a few decisions or commitments
1. An attempt to save a union that I potentially didn’t deserve.
2. Being far to friendly with strangers who either feared or misinterpreted my intentions.
3. A return to being a servant of Christ in the face of ridicule after finding success of sorts with other approaches to spirituality.
4. A desire to help as many people I can by standing up for those who are where I have been and need a defender who will be there.
I have an acrostic poem I wrote to someone one night when I happened to have been waiting for a specific AirBnB location, during an EDM event in Orlando. I wont mention further details so as to not drag anyone further into my drama. Sharing that poem would clearly identify the other party and those who need to be aware are already fully aware. I remain humbled by the experience and will be forever indebted to those who tried to help
I made many assumptions and it is my desire to now clear things up as best as I can and am allowed to.
I project Casanova very well, and toyed with the idea of polyamory for a long time. It’s an interesting concept but I don’t need to go there after thinking it through and reflecting on all I’ve learned.