This is new
I don’t know what I project exactly. I could talk to any one person and get a good impression of their true impression of me. I err towards what they choose to tell me and that keeps everything balanced.
These days are met with wild assumptions everywhere and I think it’s the same for everyone. Many of us assume we are OK but people still make judgements.
My compassion for others that don’t have my best interests at heart sometimes gets judged as ignorance, naivety or poor use of time.
The hard stuff
In life I’ve mostly ignored hardship, more so when I resided in Jamaica. I’d tell people I didn’t have feelings, but I guess the truth was I ignored emotion and sided with logic.
I joked around when I was asthmatic as I resolved that if I were to die, it wasn’t my fault and if I could keep people happy, my lasting memory would be a good one.
I loved math, a lot. I chased it to the point where it was up for a vote. Math, Computer Science, or Electronics. Math was easy, but I wasn’t sure what I could make with it, so I went on to other areas that would take some learning. Double Major
The highest point in computational sciences was CS37Q — Logic, complexity and computability (Dr. Coore). That was where I learnt about the limits of human ventures.
The most balancing points in life matters came during the 6 years with my wife. I’m happy I didn’t write a book when I didn’t understand things the way I do now. There were times when I was lost and confused but she gave everything she had to make it work. I thought I was trying hard, but at each stage my own self defeating thoughts limited my ability to continue on paths I’d previously set out. She drove all the way to Kansas City because I’d not mastered the literal highways in this new country.
She’d always told me about her first experiences when learning to drive here and I still laugh at how she’s overcome bigger odds than many people I know.
We’ve been through a lot, with many stories that we could and have shared and maybe one day I’ll write a book. When that time comes, I’m sure I’ll be a position to speak on it as without knowing the journey it might be unclear.
She has a book coming out later this year and by then I should have things back in order going as the lord leads and not forcing my own ideas as I tried to do.
Orlando was amazing, New York is becoming more appealing but as it is with each state I’ve been in, it takes a while to get to know all the people.
Thus far I’ve had the most growth being around church folks. The leaders, the youth and the spirit of God moving mightily. I don’t know exactly what the Lord has in store for me but I continue learning from those who have been called to lead and look forward to the next steps.