Introverted Men — Here’s The One Attitude That Will Build Your Network & Boost Your Social Success

Re-posted from:

Introverted guys typically have a harder time nailing down their social success than their more gregarious, extroverted brothers.

A lot of these dudes think that their introversion is a social death sentence. (They’re wrong — I’ll tell you why in a second.)

One of my buddies just moved to a big city where he doesn’t know anyone. He recently told me…

I’m an introvert. I just don’t know how to make friends or approach girls here.”

And, he’s a good-looking doctor who teaches at an Ivy League school. He shouldn’t have these issues.

I relate to what all these guys are saying. I’m an introvert myself.

But, there’s a clever way around it…

The Single Attitude That Brings You Social Success.

Let me introduce you to the one of the most socially successful men I know…

I call him “The Chairman of The Board”.

With a name like that, you’re probably thinking he’s some tough guy, like Frankie Carbone from Goodfellas.

He might have a steady dose of gravitas, sure…but it’s deserved. He earned it.

As The Chairman of The Board, he has a number of duties:

He Connects: He is the consummate connector and makes sure that the right people meet and have the right resources (books, information, contacts, etc.). He’s always making social invitations.

He Listens: He understands what matters to his people in their careers, personal lives, and creative endeavors. He uses this knowledge to connect the right people.

He Bridges The Gap: He mediates between people and their varied interests, careers, and projects. By ‘speaking multiple languages’, more people trust him to have their interests at heart.

He’s A Maven: His interests and expertise are wide and varied — his curiosity belies his role. That’s why he’s so goddamned good at bridging the gap.

And, most important…

He’s Compassionate: If someone is flying solo or looking shy, he is the first to say ‘Hello’ and learn their story. He knows that some people aren’t as gregarious as he is but believes that all deserve to connect with great people.

The Chairman of The Board Knows That Success Comes From Building His Gang, Connecting People, and Enriching Others’ Lives.

The Chairman of The Board is benevolent. Good kings always are.

Talk to any CEO or successful leader and they’ll all tell you their success is largely because of the people they keep around them.

“I never want to be the smartest guy in the room”, the co-founder of software company backed by Sequoia Capital* told me a few years back.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s a respected leader and worth a nice dime these days. That attitude will take you far.

(*Sequoia Capital originally backed YouTube, Instagram, and Google — they know how to spot a good leader.)

Why Introverts Make The Best “Chairman of The Board”.

It’s simple. It’s right in front of your face.

An introvert’s natural qualities set them up for leadership success.

In her Fortune article “Why Introverts Can Make The Best Leaders”, Jennifer Kahnweiler nailed down the top social traits of the introvert:

  • They Listen Before They Talk: Active, deep listening is a necessary quality of being The Chairman. He understands what people are great at, what their passion is, and where their focus is in their life. This can only be learned by listening well.
  • They Exude Calmness: This clear-headed, focused attitude can serve you well in high-stakes social and career situations. Use this to your advantage if you feel some social anxiety creeping in.
  • They Focus On Depth: Many extroverts are prone to starting conversations with anyone, anywhere, anytime. But, they are often more surface and shallow of detail. Introverts have a knack for focused, engaged, meaningful conversations. This is vital when learning what others are gunning for in their lives.

The essence of The Chairman of The Board mindset is one of generosity, curiosity, listening to others’ needs, and — ultimately — a dose of compassion.

I say all this with one giant caveat, though…

Many introverts do lack the gregarious and outgoing attitudes of extroverts. Taking action isn’t our natural reflex.

Being proactive is a prerequisite for a well-connected career and social life.

Social and career success requires boldness, a little risk taking, and a more ballsy attitude than you’re probably used to. You can’t be The Chairman without it.

Be courageous and keep pushing past what’s comfortable. It’s the only avenue to success and it’s so worth it, dudes.

The Success Mindset Built For Introverts.

Building an active social circle and having an expansive network to build your career is no longer relegated to chatty, life-of-the-party extroverts.

There is a new way to build social success in your life — even if you’re an introvert.

“The Chairman of The Board” is the attitude that knows your success depends on how you encourage the success of those around you.

He takes action of the social situation.

He’s the one who starts the vital conversations.

He’s the one who takes time to understand what’s important to you and where you’re headed.

He’s the one who makes the introductions that matter.

He greases the skids for social interactions and makes things happen — often in the background, but always acknowledged by those who benefit.

Even if your social circle is small and your career is in its infancy, you can still be The Chairman.

It only requires you to listen to others, stay rabidly curious, and understand that the group is made better if we all succeed.

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