I’m Still Single Because I Don’t Want to Marry an Asshole
Ezinne Ukoha

Your post reminded me how fortunate I was that my single status was not an issue for my parents and siblings. My parents were happily married for more than 40 years before they passed on, and despite a few glitches (one divorce, one death), my siblings are all now happily married. So their indifference to my single status was not because they thought I had a lucky escape.

I think Mma had some dreams about my special day and she being the princess’ mother. But those dreams were tempered by Pappa, who instilled in me that a woman should be able to take care of herself before she takes on the responsibility of being a marriage partner. Both said marriage was just life (and like everything else, required effort), not something that magically bestows you with endless happiness. The key is to find a partner who has can work with you towards that future and you both give 100% (As far as Pappa was concerned, 50/50 was a myth. You give your 100% effort and you hope that today your partner can also give 100% and if they end up giving only 20% you shut up about it because probably next month you won’t be feeling this marriage thing and you’ll give 10% and your partner will let it pass.)