What about now?
I wonder if fear is a side effect of living a life that you know isn’t right for you, how fat is a side effect of all the processed sugar and extra large portions of cheesy pastas. It just gets to a point where you can’t trust anything you think or do or write. I wrote a review and balked because too many people disagreed with me. I feel stuck on pause but I can’t be paused because the hours pass everyday and roll till 10pm and it’s bedtime and I fall asleep in a fit of anxiety about another wasted day.
But why is it wasted? What should I have been doing instead?
The answer eludes me. I look for new books and music and articles and posts and ideas and save save save- for later. What later? Why can’t I live in the now?
And when I’m tired of future- I dig into past
I used to be so…organised. And focused. Driven. Thin.
I used to be so creative.
I used to follow my dreams.
Then back to the future…I will become so…organised. And focused. Driven. Thin.
I will become creative.
I will follow my dreams.
But what about now?