The Case of the Submissive Personality

An overview, misconceptions and potential red flags for the submissive out there

Dami Adebajo
4 min readMay 26, 2019
Image by Pixabay accessed via Pexels.com

BDSM had likely never been so openly glorified until Fifty Shades, at least not on a global scale. Though arguably more abusive than consensual, there was no doubt that a conversation had started. Sexual dominance and submission found the spotlight.

By definition, submissiveness (n.) refers to the quality or state of being submissive, as opposed to submission (n.) which refers to the act of submitting. When viewed in a broader sense, submissiveness can be attributed as a personality trait. Sometimes confused with ‘pushover’ or an assumed lack of capability to make their own decisions, submissive individuals are actually both conscious and intentional in deciding to submit. In our current society, especially when reeling from inexcusable discrimination, such a trait can easily be regarded as a flaw, and negative connotations have been attributed to the term. The submissive are far less likely to be commended for their service-oriented trait, and more likely to be encouraged to grab the reins for a change.

But why should wanting to be submissive be any different than wanting to be in control?

It is difficult to consider submissiveness without referring to its societal…

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