An IT-Technician’s take on Male and Female mindsets and their interactions
Some might click in here to find out which one is the better. I will be honest with you. I have no clue. Probably a combination of the best parts of both mindsets maybe? That’s my answer as a strategist. But as I understand it, we began with pretty solid minds as animals. Children, Females and Men: Eat, shit, sleep, survive, reproduce.
Neurons are the core components of the brain and spinal cord of the central nervous system. It is an electrically excitable nerv-cell that processes and transmits information through electrical and chemical signals.
But by observing the animal kingdom. I’m pretty certain we also walked around with a set of emotions quite early on. Not sure when, smarter people might know. But if what I think happend is true, or at least, less wrong. Then it should be marked in our evolution, when emotions started coming into play, to spark intelligent growth. I don’t think every life form interacts with emotions like we do. Some do, like other primates, elephants, dolphines, domestic animals etc. But most are instinctual. We are to, but we have evolved our ability to self-reflect more than any other lifeform that we’re aware of.
We’re doing this to Elephants and The Bonobo ape as we speak. Teaching them self-reflection. There are many theories out there regarding how we became smurt. I think most of them are a bit far-fetched. But I would argue that even the far-fetched ones are valuable thoughts to play with.
Aristoteles: “It’s the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought, without fully accepting it.”
Like Alien species, or a God. But that could in theory have happend to I guess. Hard to know something about our past when we have shrouded our entire history in fabels,legends and flat out lies. We even create other lifeforms in our imagination to compare ourselves with. Like ALIENS!
Or a God or something that we take from the imagination and place it in our stories, in the physical world. Where did this notion come from to compare us with the unachievable, I wonder? It sure is motivating evolution, so I think it’s a good thing to have. Or maybe the mark will be found within the junkDNA pool? Which I think is a mistake to call junk from the beginning. That’s just my opinion, based in the expectation that, it’s godda be something in there, right?
And I hope that we find something relatable to how and when our emotions came about. Since I think it has had a huge role in our leap in intelligence.
While looking in the pages of history, it has usually been emotions that drives innovations. Like wars, starvation and the counter balance to those nasty things. Like Agriculture and entertainment etc.
So why have we suppressed emotions so much? Main reason I believe, is to not lose our shit and float out into our imagination. And live there forever (until we starve) is my best bet. I’ve actually seen that happen with my own eyes, when a guy died in my apartment because he was high as fuck, and forgot to eat… I mean wtf?! I even asked if he would like some sandwiches, because I was making like 6 of em? I think about that often. Like, I should have forced fed him or something. Told him, you need it. But I was like: “Okey! More for me then.”
The day after, I woke up by my friends father (another friend) that informed me about what had happend. All of it was so surreal. The most puzzeling thing I could think about was: “WTH is he doing here?” And holy shit, he’s a cold person, he was like: “Yo, there’s a dead dude on your sofa” But that guy had been to prison for murder. I guess that explaines it. But what I also where thinking was, Holy shit, he knows what he’s doing. He was the one who called the police and everything.
I don’t remember much other then that I blamed the weed on him when the cops asked me if it was his weed. At the time I thought that he would probably have done the same if it was the other way around. But how I behaved in that situation is something I’ll never looking back to and say to myself: “ You handled that like a pro”
I don’t want to go into this anymore. Let’s jump again. Sorry.
I don’t really care about this male or female supremacy debate either. Doesn’t matter who is the optimal being, as long as we understand that we need to work together and collectively. In order to be able to manage the ever-changing future. Which we now know is not based on a fixed line as our ancestors once thought it was. Time is wierd.
So I try to distance myself from the extreme “Fem&Mas” arguments. Settle somewhere in the middle and watch while mom and dad’s power struggle unfolds. I’ve noticed that it’s usually one of them who tries to convince the other one to go through a mental sex change.
We notice this with single parents the most, and when they raise their children. When a single man tries and raise a daughter into a GREAT woman, she will most likely turn into a “wierd” boy. Not a woman, not a man, a wierd boy. Because children mirror our behaviours more then they listen to our orders. Same is true with all of us when it comes to behaviour and the personalities we form as we grow.
Vice versa goes for when my mom was raising me to be the most charming and respectful man towards women. I turned into a wierd girl. I felt as expected, as an outsider of what boys “should be” as a result of that. Not because of how I felt about myself, but how people reacted to it. Later in life. This wierd girl would evolve into a lesbian transvestite, trapped in a fairly furry mans body.. Because of confusion.
But who the child will choose to mirror when both parents are presents, are completely up to the child. Usually they are drawn to the one who treats them as human beings. Not as a tiny object that a parent can mold into whatever they like. Which unfortunately many do.
This has absolutely to do with the missunderstanding with how our minds, differentiate from one another. Not because they have to be different. But because that’s how we was shaped by nature, before we crawled out of the wild nature, and into the craddle of civilization. Which evidence is pointing to was the Summerians, as the first civilization, around 3500 BC.
This model has been kept intact, the idea of man and females are two different solid objects that doesn’t change, for the most of our time in existance. However, it wasn’t standardized when we look at different cultures.
My geological area for example (which is Scandinavia, but also Germania) had female warriors: Skjöldmö/Shield Maidens. These badgirls gave most men in other culture groups so many nightmares. That they had to write about them in their history books. About the demon ladies that ravage both Russia and Great Britain. The germanic gals went to Rome as Goths, Cimbri and Marcomanni. They are most likely the reason to the fables of Valkyries.
Fun fact: I was killed on a stage by 40 Valkyries in a drama performance in high school. Take my word for it. They don’t joke around even after they’ve been pacified. They knocked me the fuck out. After they had ripped my poor shirt off my body. I should have a scar in the back of my head to prove it. Thank god it was part of the rutine that they we’re to carrying me over their heads, off the stage. It would have been embarrassing if they would just have walked of while I was lying there, blissfully ignorant to what was going on. To bad they didn’t notice that I was knocked out, because they just dropped me on the floor with a heavy thump. Once they got off stage. I have a scar to prove that as well. Thx for the love girls! True story.
Most if not all culture groups have had both strong female leaders and warriors up to a point. Then it was like a surge of suppressing females in the history books. In Scandinavia this all changed during the Christianization, which took place between the 8th and the 12th centuries and made “civil” folks out of us wildlings from the north. I can’t but help to think that it was trick to get “rid” of the demon ladies from the north.
It was not the only reason however. Much suggests that it had to do with when we developed agriculture, which sprang into existence independently all around the world like 15 000–6000BC. Someone had to manage that. And most military men would argue that, for strategical reasons, they would “hide” their womens in the fields. Since women always was, and still are, more valued for reproduction reasons.
We came to that conclusion since it was military men who, with logic thought that it was the best course of action at the time. And the tiny detail, that men can still not carry their own offspring. What a problem solver it had been, if we could. But no fun :(
We needed a lot of mothers to birth a lot of people. That would supply the frontlines with more soldiers. More craftsmen, more mothers etc. This need and demand of specialist had increased a lot. It was not possible to promise a better future to our children. If we had sent an army with only women who may or may not win the battle. If an army of women was defeated. So to was that entire culture group. Which happend a lot to the male population during those times. If the men died, the females would in most cases be slaves. But alive. Which meant that the culture group would still survive.
Now war is shit, we all know that now in heinsight.
But why are we still fighting each other? One word: Evolution. Conflicts is a reasonable way of evolving. Today our “career conflicts” are presented as competitions. Which we all can agree, is even more reasonable then violent conflicts, right?
But competitions generates a fuck ton of stress. Which is to damn high in the worlds different societies today. We compete nation against nation. To secure resources and alliances to advance as people. It’s stupid if you ask me. Because through competitions we also will only have one winner and the rest will know they are of “less worth.” Not as a human being. But as a contributor to society.
Treating people as a resource is something we have had a need to do from a generals/politicians point of view. IN THE PAST! But those angry people won’t rule the world forever. We’ve seen now that war is not needed. Rome rose and fell, and we once considered it to be the center of the univurse.
“All roads leads to Rome” Quoted by an arrogant prick, since all the roads where stolen by the etruscans, who actually was pricks to the Romans, Karma?
But.. Damien..wheren’t you going to talk about our minds? Sorry! I use history and personal stories as a reference and to put it all into context. Sorry! But I had to talk about that to explain the next segment.
Emotions rarely comes into play on the grandscale of our species. Main reason, we have built a male brain that we now live in. Which makes it very easy for the modern human to whine about mistakes that where made by people many thousands of years ago. But today it’s a reasonable demand to allow this solid system to evolve into something better.
Another thing we have designed after a male brain after, are computers. 1 and 0 is what they consists of. Reminds a bit of the simple, but effective warehouse, no? I wonder what quantum computers are going to be design after? My guess, a combo between our mindsets.
To understand how a male mind functions, we have to imagine a big warehouse.. Filled with same looking shelfs, Color might be used, but only as a logical way of seperating the shelves into categories. On these shelves men stores a fuck ton of boxes. “And they all look just the same.” Except that they have named them all like: Fotboll, fishing, poker. Which goes to the shelf that we associate fun activities with. Bills, ensurance etc. Goes to the papper shelf.
Female minds doesn’t function like this. Imagine a big ball of wires. And every wire is connected to a lot of different wires. This means a woman can talk about something, and from nowhere, she starts talking about something completely unrelated. My mom does this like all the time. For a man this is puzzeling. Valuable information is getting lost while talking to a female. She must be crazy obviously, oherwise they would know that these two topics that she’s talking about, isn’t even remotely relatable to each other. And when I point this out. Her response usually is along the line. You should have gotten the rest. I shouldn’t have to tell you everything for you to get it… Yes you do!
The next puzzling thing to a man are these emotions females are utilizing so much. Why do females get so upset for seamlessly nothing? Because that is how human beings form memories. If we take an event and a strong emotion. We will burn that event into our memory. We all know this when we think back on our lives. We remember the good and the bad. But we tend to forget most things inbetween.
But men also have a few of these puzzeling gems that generates a lot of frustration and confusion for females. And that is the “lack” of emotions andmy favorite. The Nothing Box.
Most men will wonder what? What is that? I don’t have such a thing. But yes you do buddy! And most men will take every chance he can during his life to go to this nothing box and open it up. And gaze on the nothing that is in it.
We usually do that when we do things, that seem completely braindead. Like. Zapping on a tv. Fishing, anything that makes a man look like a vegetable really.
But a woman can check if he really is there by asking:
“Whatcha doin honey?”
And gets the respons:
This drives females completely insane: “But you can’t think about NOTHING!?”
But they can. And some females wonder if they can follow him in to this nothing box. I’m sorry, but no you cannot. Because then it will be something.
This is how men relax. It’s called meditation. It just don’t look very meditative from a females perspective. It doesn’t look like meditaion to any men for that matter either, but it is. Mainly because if a female wants to meditate, she’ll first have to learn it by practicing it. Trust me, I know this part girls. Took me like 4 years to get that in place so I almost can use it whenever I think about it. I blame it all on my ADHD that it took so long.
But men just slips into it whenever they can. It’s like it’s instinctual.
Likewise to manly men. To practice emotions we take what emotions we already have, and try and use them to mirror other peoples emotions. Eventually you’ll feel what they feel. It will looks a bit strange if you do this in public. Protip: Watch a movie or something. This is also a way to practice things like: charisma and body language. By moving your mouth like they do will make you look wierd untop of your strange. But that will help loosen up the muscles in our faces, so we can talk without slurring.
And that’s why emotions are put on the sideline. Society, all of them, are based on male brains. Think Lego. Sometimes we.. they.. ehm, Not sure where to place myself in all of this. We shall call myself an IT from now on, just to not make manly men think I belong to them. Cause someone might be offend by that. And it also fits my education. Sometimes they use something called intuition. Which is completely an emotion based respons. Emotions are physically shown in our bodies as body heat. That’s why we say we’re getting hot when we’re getting horny for example.
Because we are literally getting hotter.
Manly men describes this very funny.
“I have a gut feeling! Listen to it, it’s smurt!”
Females must be driven crazy by this, who most likely knows how emotions works, A LOT better then the majority of men does. But I think the way we are explaining this to each other, is a big reason to why so much violent behaviour are presented.
When I tell YOU that what you believe in is WRONG. A very natural response will happen. We enter into a natural defence mode by instict. We all know it better as the fight and flight response. And if I continue bother you about that. Eventually a violent reactions will occure. Like a biological reaction. It happens most when a smart person is a bad communicator and makes another human being feel dumb, and less worth, by pointing it out like an asshole.
I’m sorry about saying that your wrong. I was wrong to do that. It was only an example to make you feel what I’m talking about. I hope you can forgive me :(
But why is that? We all know that we’re wrong more then we’re right. So why is it so humiliating to admit in wrong doings? Because of competitions. Competitons is a natural form doing things. But last time I checked. Mankind was like all about going against nature. Or the wild. I wouldn’t suggest removing competitions completely. But I do think the way we compete with each other needs to change.
Many people say that it’s just to raise a person to be a great person and that person will be great. Very far from the truth.
There are simply to many variables to take into consideration to flip it of like that. And it angers me a bit that it’s the norm in todays societies.
I’m the one that moves to fast here though. I need to realize where we at in history and work from there in a realistic way, rather then to cry about all the things that is not yet here. Like Spaceships! I want spaceships! Not those firecrackers we’re playing with in current history. Think Star Trek! Thank god that there will come a game: Star Citizen and VR, to help me calm myself regarding that. And raise the awareness about ELON MUSK. So people will know his name and toss their money at him. So he can take us to space! And give the world renewable energy without pollution. And electric cars to add to the none pollution goal that we musk achieve.
It’s important to remember that it’s okey to be angry sometimes. As long as we can channel our anger in a healthy way. Which is really tabu in todays world, not to channeling it. But to be angry. Perhaps not so much where you live, but I live in Sweden. And we here think it’s reasonable to stick our clinched fists in our pockets. Curse silently to ourself, while we have an expression in our faces that kinda makes us look like we’re a bit constipated.
Instead of bursting out in a rage. This is a bit tabu mainly because of what happends when we can’t “control” ourselves. You guessed it, violence. It all becomes a bad circles if we don’t catch ourselves in the act. Not pointing it out in others like narcissists do and forget about our own flaws.
Most people that react with the : “I can’t stand that person” attitude. The kind that goes beyond the normal annoyance, is actually because they have a trait that we dislike with ourselves. But since it’s so hard to be self-reflecting in a healthy way, we tend to just point it out in others and leave it at that.
I won’t lie to you. I behave in the same way. I had to go through a very painful process of finding the flaws I really hate in others. It wasn’t a conscious decision. It was because I turned on myself first, My self-esteem that I had in high school wasn’t very good, still needs some work in all honesty. But since my dad killed himself when I was 0,5 months. I got a first view of what happends to the people who are left behind.
So instead of going through with my suicide, I thought about how I could solve my own problem, which in this case was my own mind. Like an IT-technician. It was what I where interested in becoming at the time. This changed everything, but I still have my education! So why not use it?
I now feel very compelled to talk about these things instead, because it saved my life to just have been exposed to the horrors of suicide, and to have the closer perspective…and weed, mostly weed, now when I think about it. Since weed, gave my imagination a break to think about everything besides suicide. It presented a lot of different emotions and perspectives to occupy my mind with, until I could say to myself:
“You deserve to be alive and to feel joy again”
You see I couldn’t say that I was a person with a lot of value and that one day enough people would see that. Because I was in such a dark place that all the beautiful words people told me just made me feel worse. Like they where describing a false image of me, that I had failed to live up to.
This was far from the truth. I was hurt and humiliated, because I always had to hide my feminin traits. It’s such a core part of who I am, that I felt left on the bench. That made me angry. And I couldn’t hide the pain and the anger when I started high school. Up until that point. I had lived my life like an actor to try and please everyone.
We hide from this because it feels bad. We need to be okey with facing that if we’re serious about forging a beautiful adventure for all the generations to come. Otherwise, we put it on them to face the worst of the scary and the painful. Which is in my book the very definition of bad parenting. But as I see it, there are very few bad parents. Different way of parenting is a better way to describe it.
And we’re just about to move out from earth and become explorerers of space. We kinda need to be prepared for anything when we do that. Who knows. There might be a real Paul out there who either will smoke with us, or just smoke us.
So I do think it’s wise to pay heed to one of our worlds prime ministers who once said: “ I am prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.” — Benjamin Disraeli. Which is a wisdom we can apply on anything really when we want to prevent shitty outcomes. So I hope that we can work together and be wise regarding mankind’s future.
To hear more about the female and male brains and how they differentiate from each other, I’d suggest checking up on Mark Gungor. Please notice that he isn’t talking about the mixing of genders within the mind as I am here. He’s focused on marriage problems. He’s really funny! And his explanations gives a very solid foundation of understanding to stand on regarding this.
Ladies and gentlemen I present to you: Mark Gungor!
Critisism is very welcome, I’ve never written stuff like these before. So I have a lot to learn.