I didn’t like reading this, since I’m a guy with potential hahaha xD I just like to ask you one question.
Do you think we would even have the perception of REAL men if it weren’t for their opposite?
“Real men” is a definition we use for an extremely loose meaning. Mainly the right guy for you, or REAL men is something based upon a community’s preferred attributes like being a good provider. (Mainly something that benefits the whole.) With other words. It has little to nothing to do with “The potential guys”
They are anomalies to either you or the community you live in, simply because they tend to walk their own paths in life. Which emulates confidence whatever they have it or not. And simply by walking our own path - we’ll “automatically” pick up a broader pool of knowledge. Giving us that sexy illusion of a person knowing way more about the world then normal people do. It has to do with us simply exposing ourselves to much more varied life lessons.
Personally I’m one without the confidence, but can fake it when needed. Doesn’t mean I’m a fake. But that I live in a society which values fake imagery and icons. It’s neither a wrong or right situation. Just different. I could be “myself” but thanks to that, be overlooked in a lot of topics, not just the love topic. If you have no confidence, because of different reasons - You do best in faking that to a certain degree. Otherwise we aren’t considered by people to even be guys. “Real men” call us girls when that happen. And females starts calling us after their own genitals. Which in any other case would offend most women.
This is all very amusing to me since how many times haven’t we heard the opposite? Real men are suppose to be strong,cold and protective. To only jump over to: Real men are to be sensitive and caring and also should have a deep connection to earth bla.bla.bla.. Wasn’t to long ago that we heard that. We still are actually, since this label is 100% based on personal perception whatever its from one observer or many or even gender for that matter..
You are reflecting on the “wrongs in your life to find wisdom”. Which is like the best thing ever to become self-aware. As we grow old, our perception of time slows down as well.
Which also plays a huge role. The perception of time. Which is not a fixed line. Unfortunately, this is not yet common knowledge to our species.
How do we even measure such a difference between the older generations to the younger?
We can’t really do that on an individual level. Which is why we, obliviously been walked around thinking that time is what it is. Mainly because we’re to close to the event, which in this case is our own aging.
Imagine painting a picture with a microscope. We might paint the area we’re in, in a very detailed and nice way. But since we never zoomed out - The picture overall became twisted and has very bad proportions.
Life is best understood when we dare to climb up to God and try to be taught to see things from his perspective. To bad we have to many people who become offended by such things, but on the sideline, finds it absolutely okey to offend other people’s personalities because we have our rights to our opinions.
Whatever we believe in. We need to come to the understanding that language is built like lego and emotions works like chemical reactions. But it’s only like that because of how we choose to perceive reality.
So to finalise my overly long response..
What hurts me won’t hurt you and what hurts you won’t hurt me.
The real men you where talking about never existed. There are only different thoughts that shapes and twists the thing we call reality.
And we’re always the good guy, the victim, the bad guy and the aggressor in our own personal stories. If not? Then it’s very biased and is not a very good story.
But this was a very good story. Since you found the real “villain and hero” inside yourself and wasn’t pointing out flaws in other people but incompatibilities in any two people’s intimacy. If anything you were quite nice to them.
Thank you for sharing your story with us! Christiana