Rape is about the rapist

What was she wearing? Why was she there alone with 4 boys? Why did she take that route? Shouldn’t she have been more intuitive and observant? This is why we tell girls to dress decently… blah blah blah. All of these comments are visible in comments’ sections, when it’s a story about rape.
These comments may or may not be from good intentions but their effect is ultimately calamitous. This is because they fundamentally fail to analyse rape for what it truly is. They are clouded by the supposition that women are inherently guilty but boys will be boys.
Rapists don’t rape because they can’t “get” sex elsewhere. Rapists don’t rape because they’re uncontrollably aroused by the sight of a bountiful behind, some cleavage, belly button, red lipstick, an ankle. They rape because they’re “sociopathic” misogynist sadists, and they flourish in places where misogyny is justified as tradition and maleness comes with less accountability and violence.
Rapists will rape a chastely dressed woman, and say she’s too full of her self, what is she hiding? They may say her innocence is seductive. They may say, “I know the secrets you are hiding under those baggy clothes, I’ll expose them”. Then when a woman is dressed scantily, they’ll say, “obviously she must want it, this is a lesson for her not to tease men”. The spectrum of sexual arousal is very broad.
For a rapist it’s not about the woman’s body, or what she’s wearing, It’s about a sense of entitlement and superiority; that they can take what they want from a woman/person, that they are superior to the person they want to rape. This is why rape is a visible part of misogynistic culture. To say rapists are just extremely aroused men is an insult to all men. Rapists are not just aroused men without self control, they are violent, misogynistic criminals.
Rape isn’t perpetrated only by members of one religion, race, nation, culture etc. But rapists are abetted by cultures in which women are second-class citizens, where women’s bodies are intensely politicized and policed, where there’s a presumption of male authority and righteousness.
About 9% of rapes have male victims. We don’t make a case about, what he was wearing, why he was with other men, or women, why his tank top was so tight. Pedophile rapists have been know to accuse 5 year old girls for sitting sexily on their laps. If you look at these contexts, you’ll see that rape is not about these unnecessary details pertaining the activities of the person raped, rape is about the rapist and their mindset. It is also about cultures that allow this mindset to thrive.
What was she wearing? Why was she there alone with 4 boys? Why did she take that route? Shouldn’t she have been more intuitive and observant? This is why we tell girls to dress decently… blah blah blah. Comments like these attempt to normalize rape, they attempt to present men as savages by default. These comments disrespect the sexuality of men and downplay the humanity of women. Asking why she was alone with 4 boys, robs her of her shared humanity with boys. None of these comments address the issue, they make healing harder for the victim, present excuses for the rapist and promote a rape culture.
