To My Unborn Brother/Sister
Every now and then, I wonder what you would have been like.
If you took after our mother, we’d have been so alike.
You would be clumsy. Objects would prefer to be held by the ground than your hands. They would hide from you when you go to pick them from where you left them.
You would have a big heart. Bigger than mine. You’d take in all of this world’s hate and darkness, yet give so much love that it’d be blinding. Pain would not be a stranger to you, but still, you would choose to care so recklessly.
And of course, You’d have Mom’s amazing looks. You would turn heads and I’d gladly flaunt you to all my friends. But you’d have Dad’s dark circles underneath your eyes. There’s no escaping the circles. Don’t worry, it adds to our charm.
I wonder what I would have named you
If I’m being honest, when I heard you were on your way, I hoped you’d be a girl. I’d finally know what it would be like to have a sister, and I wouldn’t have to lose fights anymore.
But now, I realize it wouldn’t have mattered if you were a girl, a boy, or a worm. I would have loved you regardless.
Your little hands would hold my fingers and I’d have offered you my life if you demanded it.
I know this because of the tears running down my cheeks as I write this.
Isn’t it funny how your hands never grasped the sunlight, yet they found a way to hold my heart? Even now they latch on.
It’s been years and I realized I never took the time to grieve you until now.
Perhaps, I was too young to understand the weight of what I lost. Or maybe, my heart only just noticed the hole your presence would have filled.
Adeola? Ninja? Dami Jnr?
How is it possible to miss someone you never met?
How can you long for someone who never existed?
But you did exist. Somewhere. Somehow.
Nested in my mother’s womb
Because I loved you so much.
And I imagine how much more I would have.
I think Dami Jnr works
But everything happens for a reason, and God knows best.
You were probably too beautiful for this world anyway.
I know this because you would have been my little brother.
Heaven would have lost its warmth if you left.
I know this because you would have been my little sister.
