King Hammy’s Final Prayer

The following is a fictional story based on a real life that ended a couple years ago with our family’s hamster. There was a random week where he was fed, but we forgot to give him water. He passed of dehydration. This story is a prayer he sent to the great Lord Hammy in the sky in his final hour. Our hamster’s name was King Hammy.

“O holy Father, I come before you a desperately thirsty hamster. My will to live is strong, but I’m at the mercy of these irresponsible humans; especially the youngest one. He brings a feast fit for a king everyday, but forgets I have the thirst of a king also.

O holy Father, each day the water bottle goes unnoticed I die a little more on the inside. Pretty soon, there will be nothing left as all of me will be dead. The young human’s adamance on giving me food indicates he isn’t forgetting drink on purpose, but that doesn’t deter from my impending death. I feel worse as there is no honor in dehydration!

O holy Father, I must remain calm. Maybe if I hold out for the next feeding time tonight, he won’t forget drink. If I look sick enough, he might engage with me more and be able to deduce the lack of water as being the culprit of my lethargy. Alas, I only know how to look one way; that is, like a hamster with no feelings or emotions. Curse you Lord Hammy for designing me like this!

O holy Father, what am I to do? My name is King Hammy, but I feel less than a king. I am surrounded by human incompetence. I did not choose these humans, but they chose me. My feelings towards them are that of anger and despair. Despair over my current situation and anger at their neglect. They are clueless on how slow deaths can be mentally, spiritually, and physically torturing. I never thought I would experience this day.

O holy Father, delirium is settling in as I see a light that is shining in the foreground of my vision. I have enjoyed a good life, but I feel it is being cut woefully short. I planned on running many more miles on the wheel, adventuring further out from the cage than I have ever explored before, and enjoying each moment more deeply than I would have imagined. Had I known this day to come so early, I would have pushed myself more each day.

O holy Father, here my cries. My title as “King” has become exactly that; a mere title. The name the humans gave infused me with confidence unheard of in most hamsters. I have them to thank for that. While I have lived a kingly life, I feel that I haven’t been entirely honest with who I am. My ego clouded a trait I value above all. Though king is a large part of who I am, I feel that being humble is a greater part. Thus, I have decided to rename myself Humble Hammy with one final motion as “King.”

O holy Father, may the thought of who I am live on in the memories of these humans. Though the mind voices it’s anger over their neglect, my heart feels gratitude as I have had more opportunity than most hamsters. I, Humble Hammy, existed; that is far more precious than anything in the world. It has taken me great pain and suffering to realize how much of a miracle it is to be here.

O holy Father, where to from here? My body will become ashes but what of this consciousness? I used to fear the unknown but now that seems like a funny thing. You brought me from the unknown and will take me back from whence I came.


O holy Father, I feel this body getting weaker. Each moment brings heavier and heavier air into these frail lungs. The death bell rings as I, Humble Hammy, will be answering shortly.”

Later that evening, a friend found King Hammy lying motionless on his wheel. He was taken to the pasture out back, and there we had a few last words for him. He was then lowered into some of the greenest, luscious grass that would only be fit for a king. Gone but never forgotten.

RIP King Hammy

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