New Dips & Twists From Dominos
The bar was not high
I have waited to put these thoughts to paper (screen?). Honestly, I’ve completely erased the day I ate this from my mind. There was no way the knowledge that I had experienced this “meal” wouldn’t fracture my psyche. Now though, I felt I needed to say something, to speak truth to power. For the uninitiated, Dominos is an establishment that peddles a cheese, dough, and sauce combination as pizza. They also offer salad, pasta, and brownies. So really, they’re your one-stop food spot, especially if the ER is on the night’s menu.
Above, is a photograph of the unabashed cruelty I was subject to, Dominos’ New Dips & Twists combos. The bread twists have been a Dominos staple for millennia, the accompanying Dips were a recent invention. Quite frankly, the English language fails to give me the tools to describe the smell that came from this. I went with the garlic flavor for the bread twists, a possible miscalculation on my part. For the dips themselves, I thought I just had to get both savory options. Five Cheese and Cheesy Marinara, I didn’t think Baked Apple was necessary here.
The photo itself does these dips just the right amount of justice. Look how the thin layer of baked cheese has completely slid to one side on the Cheesy Marinara one! The Five Cheese seems to have developed its own lake of grease and oil, what a treat!
Do I need to discuss the process of eating this? Yes. It may be gratuitous and unnecessary, but my conscience won’t let me stay silent. I must save others if I can. Taking a greasy garlic twist in my hand and sliding it through the wet chunks of cheese and oil, made me reflect on my life choices. I mean, I didn’t reflect so much that it stopped me from eating it all. Still, each bite was painstaking.
The difference in flavors was negligible because they each had their own pitfalls. The Marinara was like eating pizza sauce out of a jar and the Five Cheese I literally cannot talk about without upchucking. At times, I went back and forth just to give myself a break from the other flavor. Did I mention this was over $14 all together? Please, do not make the same mistakes I did. No one deserves this. Alright, maybe some people, but not you.
