69 ways to leave your lover: this is how you loser

You meet her and immediately fall in love.

You immediately tell her that you love her.

Open-mindedness, honesty and vulnerability are the most important things to you.

There is no shame in telling someone you love them.

She tells you she loves you.

Every time she talks about the future you have to mention how you are a free spirit and openly love the world.

You’re not the marrying type.

You could never see yourself getting married.

You buy the cheapest plastic fifth of vodka.

You travel to her home state.

You smoke pot and make love out in the open and at night you see the stars for the first time from up in a lonely cabin on a mountain.

You sleep with someone else.

You sleep with someone else. You don’t enjoy it.

You grow fond of her. You introduce her to your family.

All paths lead to the end.

Isolation weakens us.

Chaos strengthens us.

Your mother really loves her. Wishes she could do anything to help her out. You feel a kindred spirit between the two. You realize how beautiful that is.

You don’t cry. You run to the kitchen and chop an onion. You cook a bolognese sauce. You smile through the pain and brighten up the day.

You move.

She loves you and gives you many chances. She lights up high and disappears past the horizon which you admire.

You purchase 750 ml of bourbon.

You do it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And you have a panic attack.

And you get a high paying job that makes people jealous.

It’s highly technical and only you can do it.

And you make her so proud.

And she makes you so happy.

And you go to the mountains to snowboard.

And you wake up that morning and look at her skin and then at her hair and you can’t imagine anyone else waking up next to you. I mean, you can, but in this very moment you don’t want to.

The concept of her happiness becomes more important to you than anything else.

You sleep with someone else.

You purchase 750 ml of bourbon.

You get fired.

You get clients.

You drive your car.

Life is like an endless feeling of being on the edge.

Raise your hand if you have ever unconditionally done everything right for yourself if you were your own mother who loved you.

Life is a big big mess.

I am not a big big mess because other people work for a living and look at me I never work just sleep all day and play all night plus I get paid to do something I like.

Then she finds Jesus.

Realizes you are satan.

And let’s be real. You are satan.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he wasn’t dan brat

she makes a really good point

she needs someone who loves jesus

she needs someone who






just anything.


the girl you love

take her seriously

she needs someone

who can do that

and you can’t


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