Distracted, lonely & the fight of our lives
The Digital Evolution
In my first book, I shared a story about a based-on-real-life character named Beth. She was young, positive, enthusiastic and unorthodox in her approach to freelancing. Her approach to business allowed her to rise to success much faster than her competition because of the value of her talents and her ability to leverage them in the cultural moment she was in.
Many described Beth as an unlikely hero. In truth, winning big wasn’t as hard as it looked. Her cards and the times were stacked in her favor. She created organic and unfair advantages over her competition, who were busy relying on old strategies that didn’t work anymore. The former coffee shop manager turned professional photographer created so much value, she couldn’t help but explode onto the scene.
I wrote that book when our world was in in the middle of the digital revolution. Now, we’re squarely in the midst of digital’s evolution. Which leaves me wondering… as our virtual world has evolved in its sophistication and power, what would Beth be up to today?
I compiled Beth’s narrative from a host of real people. In many ways, I’ve lived a version of Beth’s story myself. And I have a hunch, if you are a freelancer in today’s hyper-connected world, you have too.
The fact that the rules have changed is no surprise to anyone. But, that begs the question… What are these new rules? And how can you and I play to win?
What would Beth be doing today?
As my curiosity grew about Beth, I began to wonder… what are the best-of-the-best, small business owners doing these days to find unfair advantages and grow in our times?
It turns out there are actually a lot of solid strategies that seem to work. Just look at all the ways different sorts of people are winning these days.
What’s more interesting than picking a single approach is to notice what each approach has in common. All seem to have a plan to deal with the two universal enemies of our time: Distraction and Loneliness.
The dope behind distraction
In his book, Amusing Ourselves to Death, Neil Postman prophetically asserted that entertainment would be the demise of good in our culture. He predicted authoritarian power wouldn’t take away our liberty. Rather, the enemy would come from within. That is we would voluntarily give up our freedom in exchange for dopamine enducing entertainment. Where regular humans — like you and me — would become complicit in our demise by amusing ourselves to death.
His take is hard to debate.
When Postman wrote his book, he thought television would be our biggest concern. There’s no way he could have imagined the volume of channels (not to mention content on those channels) coming our way today.
Then, when you add the addictive algorithms built into games, not to mention email, texting and social channels (all forms of dopamine production), it is obvious that we are being methodically bombarded with temptations to trade our freedom for consumption.
The result: We are overwhelmed.
You feel the info-glut and so do I. And yet, we keep clicking and watching and tracking and reading and listening. Distraction is so pervasive, it’s tempting to think it’s normal, it’s always been here and we’re doomed to live with it.
Is that true?
What is certainly so is that much of the content is being built malevolently, so that it actively pulls us away from whatever is at hand, for the sake of commercial gain. If we don’t find a way to resist, we are being played.
Experts at loneliness
To make matters worse, we’re having to navigate these distractions solo. The very nature of having a virtual life means that we’re entering it as lonely avatars. As a result and as many have so acutely observed, we are becoming experts at loneliness (video).
Even in moments when we feel super connected online, if an outside observer were to describe what our physical bodies are doing in those moments, most of the time we are by ourselves attending to a machine.
Even now as I type, I feel connected with my readers. But, in truth, I’m alone in a room typing. This isn’t necessarily bad. I love writing and writing takes solitary discipline. But, if I add how often I am during on Zoom conference calls or on Slack or even checking email, it becomes evident just how often my life is plugged in.
The truth is I am getting more skilled at being lonely. And that’s not a skill I want to foster.
Virtual loneliness is the water most of us swim in.
Known traveler
A number of years ago, I became a “known traveler”. It’s a status given by airport authorities that allows you to go through airport security like it’s September 10th, 2001. Quick-ish lines. Shoes and clothes stay on. Liquids and laptops stay in my bag.
The way to gain this status is to set up an appointment to be interviewed by airport authorities. At that interview, you go through a slightly more robust security check than you’d receive at customs when entering a country. The process is inconvenient but the rewards are obvious.
In fact, that single effort is rewarded with a card that says I am known when I travel. Even better, that one effort taken before I head to the airport, gives me a material portion of my life back every time I get on a commercial flight.
The process is elegant, powerful and worth repeating. To become a known traveler, all I need to do is…
- Pause.
- Ask myself what inconvenient thing I could do to guarantee more freedom.
- Become known to in real life people who have authority in my life.
- Submit to that authority before I decide to travel.
What about Beth? What about you?
Thinking of Beth today makes me smile. She’s full of wisdom. She’s also a standard and ideal that keeps me honest. What would Beth do (WWBD) is a question that grounds me.
Who keeps you honest?
Where are you known?
Who do you submit to for your own good along the way?
Finding your people in real life, and rallying together around a common set of rules, may just be the missing piece (and competitive advantage) in an otherwise distracted and lonely world.
