TQTJ: Too Quick To Judge
As humans we judge others… a lot. More than we can comprehend. It’s a natural instinct. It affects our perceptions. But let’s put that to the test…
Today, I take three portrait images and reveal our biggest flaw as humans, it limits compassion and appreciation. Creates a realm to incite hate and segregate groups.
This comes as I sat opposite a young man on the Central Line the other day, he had a plastic bag similar to what magazines are protected in before distribution. He flattened it and compressed the air inside to make a tight bag. He did this over and over. Until the point came where the strain from his hands burst the bag, leaving it useless.
My judgement and initial reaction was one of fear. In a confined space, what if he pops the bag loudly like a crisps packet? Will I be blamed for the colour of my skin? As time went on these questions changed, I started to ask if he was a creative? Someone who worked with his hands perhaps? As I watched him toy with the bag, my perceptions changed.
See how my initial reaction was bad. That’s what happens when we see people that we feel threatened by or stand out.
One thing about those people, especially those who stand out — they are confident in themselves that they can wear or look however they want. They’re happy and like the way they look. That’s why they might look abnormal to you.
Right let’s get into this properly…
Look the picture of me above. Now, some of you reading might not like me. That’s fine, I have no problem. But whatever you think of me, hear me out.
My nose isn’t straight. I have a scar on top of my right eyebrow. The top of my nose is darker than the rest of my skin. My eyes are weary. And finally, I have a scar on the bottom of my right eyebrow too.
Those are some of the few imperfections on my face. I’m not insecure about them and I am quite comfortable with the way I look.
My nose isn’t straight. If I was someone else, I might think that’s a result of a fight and I don’t care about myself enough to get it fixed.
Answer: my nose isn’t straight because one day in Year 9, it was a snow day and I was pushed by someone older and slid on the ground — nose first. It’s not broken, just bruised and hence why it’s darker on top of my nose than anywhere else.
I have two scars, one above and one below my right eyebrow. Maybe I was scratched in a fight.
Answer: I banged my head against a pole one time and the one below was a scratch caused my something which I picked and became this empty scar.
My eyes are weary. Maybe I had a late night, maybe it’s genetics.
Answer: I have been getting used to life waking up earlier, it’s not genetics. I wasn’t born this way, it’s a transition phase result.
This is James Shaw.
Take ten seconds to judge James. The beard is a stand-out point but what do you really think of James? Hold that thought.
I met James through working in retail in a golf centre. He is an extremely hard-working person who loves his wife, kids and embraces anyone who gives him the time of day.
I know that I wouldn’t have made a lot of decisions that I did without his words of wisdom and guidance. It’s friends like James that make you appreciate the world.
He is ambitious. He is creative. But his family comes first. He is someone who has suffered from ‘friendly’ abuse about the way he looks. But he’s confident about himself. He has a story and he is happy to tell anyone who wants to listen.
James is someone who recognises life is about give and take. Something that is hard to accept. We all yearn success and constant highs, but after maturity and starting a family, James knows how that life is more about continuity than switching up the system.
He has wanted to move careers. He can’t financially suffice that move given he has to help support a family. He has a story. Whatever your judgement, has it changed now?
This is Jason Lynch.
Once again, take ten seconds to judge Jason. Is he someone you’d want to hang around with at first sight? Would you give him the time of day?
I met Jason through QMUL. A trusted friend and rather a mentor-like figure. He has lived quite an extraordinary life. But once again, looking at his face you wouldn’t be able to tell at all.
Jason is the definition of ‘never give up’. He strives to better himself everyday. Whether that be three hour gym sessions or extra hours in the geography labs. He helps out the School of Geography tremendously. Since arriving as a mature student, he has had his impact. Yes, mature student. There was a life before university which I’m sure he’ll tell you if you ask kindly enough.
Jason is destined for great things in the academic realm. Pursuing a masters after his time as a mature undergraduate, he intends to become a lecturer and change perceptions and raise awareness for marine issues.
Take that second question I asked earlier: would you give him the time of day?
You might ask, how can I judge that from looking at him? In our heads we do a Tinder-like selection process of who we associate ourselves with. Are they popular? Are they worth our time? Will they bring anything to my life?
How do I know this? Well it’s two-fold.
I’m guilty of asking these questions. I’m sure that I’m not alone in this as I’m human and all humans share similar societal characteristics.
Secondly, if we didn’t judge — how would we make friends? We make an initial judgement and then decide if they are friend-worthy.
Where am I going with all of this?
It’s simple really. When we’re too quick to judge, we restrict our scope of exploring the world.
If someone is poor and you can see that through the lack of branded clothing, you might avoid them because their economic class puts you off. You don’t know them as a person. You could be looking at someone who is a world-class artist or singer. Just because someone doesn’t show wealth, it doesn’t mean that they are lesser than you.
Hierarchy. Partriachy. It kills our society.
I smile at someone and I get evils back.
I’m not saying we should stop judging people. It’s nearly impossible. Unless you lock yourself away and limit human contact.
We like to be comfortable in our social circles and things that threaten our equilibrium often get judged harshly and unfairly.
I bring this debate to racism and homophobia because the link is incredibly strong.
Know someone’s story then make your judgement.
We’re too quick to judge and we’re losing sight of humanity as a result.
I’d like to thank James Shaw and Jason Lynch for being brave enough to participate. Putting yourself in the public eye is terrifying but I hope we can all learn to love each other for our personalities more than the way we look.