The Art of Living
& how pleasure isn’t such a bad thing.
Original article published on July 22, 2021
South End is the kind of restaurant you go to and find yourself coming back for more. Is it because the pizza is delicious? Well, yes. But there’s something more to it… a certain, as Carrie Bradshaw would say, zah zah zah…
Whenever I make the commute from East LA to Venice Beach, I do so because I’m craving an experience. I’m craving a taste of something that is hard to find in LA, let alone America in general. It’s a craving for something my tastebuds can’t sense, but that my soul devours. It’s dolce far niente: the sweet nothings.
My friend Mario is the guy to go to when I’m craving a taste of the sweet nothings. Originally from Rome, Mario came to America and eventually ended up in Venice where he opened South End. Although he may have left Italy, Italy sure did not leave him.
Whenever I come to South End I am reminded of what I love about the European culture: the embrace of pleasure. It is this embrace of pleasure that is emphasized in the sweet nothings I spoke of previously. It is sitting back, relaxing, and sipping your wine while eating your pizza without worry. It may sound difficult to think of relaxing deeply into pizza when the world is in constant turmoil these days, but honestly, if we all indulged in the sweet nothings every once in a while, then maybe life itself would be a little sweeter.
In this last week’s episode of Food Diplomat, we met up with Mario out of pure selfishness. Recovering from an eating disorder, I was craving to understand his way of living and his ability to embrace each moment. Whenever you go to South End and Mario is around, you’ll find him hopping from table to table as he talks to each person like they’ve been longtime friends. He makes you feel welcomed, which inherently makes you feel like you belong. Naturally, this breeds an environment where you suddenly find yourself also talking to people from other tables, making friends with strangers under the spell of Roman charm.
Allowing good food to be a reason to come together and celebrate has been paramount in my recovery journey. In this episode, Mario and I discuss l’arte di arrangiarsi: the art of living. It is the art of improving at the moment by finding a solution quickly and taking action. What I loved about this conversation was the reminder that we can’t always think too much before taking action. Sometimes we have to simply live and life will work its way out along the way.
Recovering from an eating disorder, obsession still haunts me. Obsession, as you can imagine, involves lots of overthinking. It is very easy for me to dwell in isolation when the obsession becomes severe. It is also easy for me to not see life as an art worth living, but rather, a prison in which I cannot come out until the perfection I chase is obtained. This is why my time with Mario means so much. He reminds me that perfection is the opposite of what life is worth striving for, and if you obsess, then you’ll miss the real beauty in improvisation.
I’m not saying let’s all throw away our responsibilities to become hedonistic, but I am saying that pleasure is not always a bad thing. So take a bite of the forbidden fruit every once in a while and enjoy life, because understanding pleasure is not a bad thing took me out of hiding from the fears I dwelled on for years.
Lastly, I’d like to address the elephant in the room from this episode: my alopecia. No, those bald spots were not of my own doing. They represent the years of self-abuse to be something I’m not while battling an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. It is said stress is a big component of hair loss, and from my experience, they are not wrong. Thankfully, through Food Diplomat and time spent with loved ones, I’ve learned the importance of stepping out of my internal prison and embracing life.. the art of life.
