Some Thoughts on Time During Coronavirus

“The trouble is, you think you have time.” — Jack Kornfield

Time. It’s a funny thing, isn’t it? I mean, have you ever looked up how many hours the average person has in their lifetime, or how many seconds that is? I have — just one of the many seemingly random things I’ve done to fill the time since this global pandemic hit. For the record, it’s 692,040 hours, which is 22,075,000 seconds.

Sounds like a lot, doesn’t it? But if there’s one thing this current global pandemic has solidified for me, it’s that the opposite couldn’t be more true; I feel like time is going faster.

On the one hand, that’s a good thing as it hopefully means we’ll be moving to the end of this pandemic quicker (at least in my own perception of time). On the other hand, it’s made me increasingly aware just how fast time can pass when we aren’t paying attention.

If this sounds somewhat familiar — you aren’t alone. An article in the Los Angeles Times this week saw journalists speak to psychological scientists to help explain why many of us feel time is going by so quickly. You can read the full thing here, but this quote from Marc Wittmann, author and researcher at the Institute for Frontier Areas of Psychology and Mental Health in Freiburg, Germany, sums it up pretty well:

“…If you’re doing the same thing every day — the new normal for many in quarantine — there’s no need to remember each day specifically. Even if time passes slowly in the moment, it’s likely that nothing will stand out upon looking back, causing you to perceive time has passed by quickly in the long run.”

The thing that really hit me though — is that I’d felt like this long before Coronavirus.

Looking Back

I think back to my school days, which for starters don’t actually feel that long ago, despite the fact I finished secondary school over 8 years ago. The days would pass slowly but it was all worth it when the summer holidays came around and felt like they would last forever.

Fast forward to 2018 and I’ve just started my first job out of university. Now, I like to think I’m still relatively new to my job, which is probably reinforced by the fact that graduating doesn’t feel like a lifetime ago. However, I got promoted at work last week, which while I’m very proud of is also a massive wake up call that I’m not the new kid at work anymore.

Of course, doing the same thing every day is pretty much the definition of a job; it’s what you do with your time outside of work that’s important. I’m incredibly grateful for my job but having to travel nearly two hours every day and also try to make time for the gym three times a week often leaves me feeling either too tired or lacking the motivation to try new and exciting things in the little free time I do have for myself.

The stress of starting my first job also meant I told myself some reasons as to why I didn’t seek out some experiences I said I would after graduating. While I feel some were reasonable at the time, I realise many don’t quite fly anymore. For example:

“I need to focus on getting settled into work before I can begin to focus on relationships”

Yeah, pretty sure I’m past that stage now. (It’s been 4 years since my last relationship.)

“I need to get my own place before I can even think about planning out the next steps of my future”

Ok, maybe I should give myself a bit of leeway on this one since, you know, global pandemic and all that. Yet even before shit the fan, I was one of the very few people in my friend group who didn’t live in their own place.

Sure, it may have taken a bit of saving and a pay rise or two to be able to rent my own place comfortably, but I’m looking back now and realise I would probably be a lot happier if I wasn’t spending this current lockdown trying to find a place to move to on my own as my tenancy is almost up.

I feel I should have spent more time looking into making having my own place happen, instead of simply following what was easiest at the time and renting out a cheap room in a shared house. Put simply, when I look back on what I’ve done since being an adult, I simply feel I could have done more with that time.

Making the Most of Time

I guess what I’m trying to say is this pandemic has made me realise just how fast time can go by when we aren’t paying attention. Now, I don’t want to sound like one of those people who have cropped up on Twitter since Coronavirus has caused us all to be locked up in our homes, shouting from behind their keyboards that “NoW Is ThE tImE tO sTaRt ThAt BiG PrOjEcT yOu’Ve BeEn PuTtInG oFf!”

I do believe we have a dangerous obsession with productivity. No one needs to be waking up a 4am every morning and learning a new skill every other day of the week. However, I do like to think some comfortable middle ground can be made.

Looking after yourself and your wellbeing should always come first, but that shouldn’t replace your desire to seek out new experiences and challenge yourself. I want to look back on the time I’ve spent and be happy with how I spent it.

So that’s exactly what I’ve started doing:

I’ve picked up my old recipe book and have challenged myself to cook something new every week.

I’ve started doing yoga and now do a daily morning yoga routine with some of my workmates.

I’ve been reading more (fiction & non-fiction) and writing notes on key things I want to remember.

I bought some seeds and pots and have started growing chillies and some other plants.

I’ve reached out to some old friends I haven’t spoken to in a while to see how they’re doing.

And finally, I’ve picked up blogging again.

Granted, they’re likely not things I’ll be looking back on when I’m on my deathbed. Yet they’re things I want to do because I enjoy doing them but have so easily put off again and again because “I didn’t have the time.”

A pandemic shouldn’t be the reason you strive to be the best version of yourself, but motivation can come from the strangest of places.

And you can bet your ass I’ll be holding onto it when all this madness is over.

“There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it. Otherwise, you’ll never understand what it’s saying.” — Sarah Dessen.