Journal Entry

Handmade “Cosmic Cushion” by Dani Hunter

What am I? But just a light show of collected moving pictures with dialogue and stories. So the discussion is that reality can not exist without an observer. And everything is consciousness, which is seamed all together with vibrating patterns and atoms, choosing to exist as either wave or a particle.

I get “Trippy thoughts” in the morning. In the shower and at the beach they are regular visitors too. Those “Trippy Thoughts” asking me so many questions I can not answer.

I am starting to believe that in the stillness and silence of our deep beings, we sit somewhere in nowhere, a multi-dimensional, non-local sacred space, that some call zero point, the field, Nirvana… And there we are all holding hands together watching a virtual reality, light show of stories being acted out. Together we are building a light show that extends all around us, as universes and galaxies are born and dying out, transforming into different universes, birthing new galaxies.

I will tell you a story within this story. I closed my eyes once and saw a place where time was simultaneous and the universe was turning into another one, without ever stopping. I begged for it to stop cause I was feeling afraid of losing track of time, and track of myself. I got sick to my stomach to realise that I was not who I thought I was. I was just a mind without a body without an identity. A traveller of a light show called space and time. So I threw up. Fear was being ejected out of my mouth. I knew that all along, I always knew that I was this no-identity being that watched light shows with others in a universal screen.

I started crying out in pain and in grief “I can’t accept, I don’t want to accept!” And “Trippy Thought” answered, “You must accept, just surrender and accept”. I was grieving my loss… My identity had just died in front of me and there was nothing I could do to save it. It was gone. That “I” was gone. I was shaking. My whole bodiless being was violently shaking and I just had to open my eyes. So I did.

I was back in the room, surrounded by all my friends whom I loved. The shaman was there singing Icaros. I had a body and an identity again. But that was just the beginning of my journey into the unexplored land of “Who Am I”?