Dan Carroll Is Reading a Book

I don’t like things that are long. Ok, make all your jokes now, but I’m serious. And I think most things are too long. I think that most TV shows don’t need to be that long. I don’t think golf, track meets, or baseball games need to be that long. I don’t think most of the stories that comedians tell need to be that long. I think that most guitar solos run out of ideas about halfway through and then spend the rest of it killing time until its over. I think that almost any piece of classical music could…

Dan Carroll Is Reading a Book

Real photo of me ascending to the cosmos after reading the first two pages of Infinite Jest

So I’m reading that big book by David Foster Wallace.

And I don’t have to provide any more introduction than that. I don’t have to explain to you which book it is. You know the one. The book. The most-bought and least-read book after The Bible. The one that’s titled “Fun Forever.” (Though that’s up to me to decide) And you know who David Foster Wallace is, too. He’s a guy famous for being played by Jason Segel once. He’s in a bunch of YouTube videos that have gotten a lot of views, and the people underneath those videos like…

Dan Carroll is reading a book. He’s created a Medium account to catalogue this. He has nothing else to do and now it’s gonna be everyone else’s problem.

Screenshot of a Tweet from @dancarroll__ “reading a book rn.” posted 8:42pm, 7/7/20. No retweets, no replies, one like.
Screenshot of a Tweet from @dancarroll__ “reading a book rn.” posted 8:42pm, 7/7/20. No retweets, no replies, one like.
(Proof)

Like many other young people, 19-year-old writer and comedian Dan Carroll recently had to move out of his dorm at DePaul University in Chicago and return home to suburban Connecticut. But he doesn’t have a job, and he isn’t like all those other boring young people. So what is he doing with his time? He’s reading a book. And get ready everyone, because he’s gonna tell you all about it.

Dan Carroll was raised into a long tradition of annoying white male subcultures that includes New England liberals, Boy Scouts, private school kids, internet forum posters, lacrosse players, speech and…

Dan Carroll

Dan Carroll is a 19-year-old writer and comedian. You can follow him on twitter @dancarroll__ or email him at danielgavigancarroll@gmail.com

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