The end of a life, of a project, of a relationship or any part of life, is a topic we dread and an experience we try to avoid as best as possible. Throughout history, theologians, poets, philosophers and politicians have tried to beautify the harsh fact of our finite nature.

Death has become a sweet release, an intermediate state between this existence and another, it has been transmuted, distorted and mutilated to resemble anything but what it truly is. Death, in all of its glory, is the irrevocable absence of one of the reasons life is worth living. The loss of a parent, the bitter goodbye to a child or the heart wrenching farewell of a shattered relationship.


I am not one to sugarcoat the stinking truth, nor do I condone the inflation of mass produced lies. Death is dirty, ugly and grotesque. There are no doors to other places, no hope at the end of the rainbow.

Oh you disagree?

Well, let’s say that death is only a state of transition, that our loved ones are in a better place. Let’s assume that your marriage of 10 years ended for a reason and that good things are coming your way.

Is it going to take away the pain?

Is that emptiness in your soul going to heal, grow shut and leave no scars?

Do try to understand me, I’m not attempting to steal your hope or talk you down. Quite the opposite actually. I want you to open your eyes and see that, if you manage to climb out of the abyss, to overcome any form of loss, it’s not because of the illusions many try to force-feed us.

It will be because you owned the pain, you suffered through it without philosophical narcotics. You are scarred, bleeding and never really going to be the same. But you’re still pushing on, you are not a person that thrives when things are easy.You and you alone are the source of hope, you take in death and turn it to life.

It’s not death that brings change, it’s you.