In our darkest hours, when we stand at the precipice of despair, ready to let go of everything, we often blame him. The Darkness is not the absence of light alone; it is evil swallowing up the nourishing rays of the sun. A malevolent, purposeful act.
But why do we have these thoughts, why do we blame others for the cruelty in our actions, the spiteful tone of our words?
Perhaps because when you stand in front of the mirror, during the early hours of the night, you dread the morning and the revelations it will bring. It’s the nagging question: “How could I?”
Indeed, how could you?
You who consider yourself an ethical person. How could you not live up to your standards?
It’s those creeping thoughts, that nauseating insecurity that forces your hand and bends your finger with unholy might towards anyone but you.
You are a caring mother, not a control freak.
You are a loving father, not a brutal reprobate.
You are a good daughter, a perfect son, not a back talking brat.
You are all that you’ve been expected to be, never less, always more.
Let me shake my head at you with silent regret. Dare to look back at the mirror and open your eyes to the abomination you face.
You are a woman that had to do anything in her power to survive in this world.
You are a man that has tried his best to keep your loved ones and yourself afloat in this god forsaken barren world.
You are the offspring of a generation that was never ready to care for others let alone itself.
I’m not telling you to break the rules, to disregard the wellbeing of others and sew chaos where there is order. There is no greater sin, than a sin not recognized. If you fail at reaching your own standards of perfection, own that failure and its repercussions. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure of being the monster others feared you to be. Once this inner battle has settled, you might not witness peace, but you will know tranquility.
And always keep asking yourself: Did the Devil give birth to evil or is it the human hubris that birthed him?