5 Reasons Why I Love My Vagina (A Satire Piece)
This will make your IQ drop a few levels. I have seen a few of these articles out there. While i DO love my Vagina, here are five FAKE reasons why we should love them. Aha. Enjoy. I am well aware that other parts of the body are self cleaning, and that the vagina actually may grow or whatever after birth. This is just a funny light piece. Its my crack at satire.
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Vagina. It’s an uncomfortable thing to talk about, but as a woman; I am not ashamed of it. Men think of the word, and subject as vulgar; but so do many woman. Men also like to say mean things about our Vaginas. They like to make us ashamed of our bodies. I am not ashamed of any part of my body. In some religions, I guess you could say i am not ashamed because “God made me this way.” In the real world, I am proud of this part of my body because it does a lot of things. Here is a small list of just 5 Reasons Why I Love My Vagina.
1. My Vagina Makes Me A Woman
We all know that males have the penis, and woman have the vagina. Having a vagina is awesome because it REALLY means that I AM A WOMAN.
2. My Vagina is a muscle!
Womans Health. Com says “It can handle a pretty intense workout. “The muscular tone of the vagina is so strong,” says Alyssa Dweck, M.D., co-author of V is For Vagina. ” I mean you have to think about how strong something has to be to be able to push out AN ENTIRE HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!!
3. It Is The Only Part Of My Body That Cleans Itself!
You know the most annoying part about being a woman is the fact i have to take daily showers. In fact, if it were honestly up to me i would not shower daily at all… but i have to. Its considered unhygienic if i do not. You know, we always worry about how we smell “down there”… and I admit, as a woman … I do worry! The last thing i need is anyone smelling me. But, Cosmopolitan.com says “No need to douche or wash the inside — it cleans itself with discharge (yep, that stuff has a function). The secretions flush out cells from the vaginal wall, excess water, and bacteria. The only washing it needs is on the outside between the labial folds and along the perineum (use a mild, scent-free soap).” Interesting. Huh? Learn something new every day.
4. It Can Bust A Baby.
That’s right! My Va-ja-ja can bust a ba-by. It is literally THAT expandable! An entire human, can pop out of that tiny muscle! This is a well known FACT. I do NOT have to explain how this works, I’m sure every adult on this planet knows. I mean, I am only 21. I do NOT want one now… but later down the road… when i have the means to support a little guy… I can CHOOSE to have one! I can make A PERSON! How cool is that?
5. Once I Bust A Baby It Will Not Shrink, Or Grow.
Buzzfeed.Com states that “There is actually no statistical difference in average recorded vaginal size between woman who’ve had babies, and woman who haven’t. “ Meaning… once i have that baby, my vagina will stay exactly the same size! Cool!