I’m Not a Kid Anymore. Here’s How I’m Dealing With It
Photo by Yan Krukov from Pexels
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines nostalgia as “pleasure and sadness that is caused by remembering something from the past and wishing that you could experience it again.” What they should have included was “a surefire way to get money from people born in the 1990’s.” If you go to any store designed for younger adults (ex. Forever 21, Charlotte Russe), you’ll see some graphic tees of Space Jam or old Pokemon, or clothes reminscent of the early 2000’s. F21 has handkerchief tees now, who would’ve thought? Early adulthood is a time of massive change, which can be overwhelming. To cope, many twenty-somethings, myself included, retreat to our memories of what can’t be changed: our past. Over the past couple years, I struggled to find a job after college and only landed minimum wage positions. Once I got a job in my field, I lost it in a month and half. After that, I had a miserable job at a nursing home. In my childhood, I never thought any of that would happen, which is why the memories are so comforting. It’s normal for people for all generations to be upset that their childhood is over, but here are some ways to enjoy adulthood just as much.
- Accept that your early years weren’t a golden era of human history
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo from Pexels
I was born in 1996, so 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and Columbine happened before I was ten. Although I have no memories of how the world reacted to these events, that doesn’t mean they didn’t happen. Also, gay marriage wasn’t legal in the United States until 2015, which was something I was painfully aware of living in a Christian household. Growing up I thought being gay was disgusting, even when I discovered my same-sex attraction at fourteen. Knowing this puts my nostalgia into perspective and allows me to enjoy the queer accetance of today. As great as the social justice that allowed me to be openly bisexual is, it still takes more for me to keep my reminiscing at bay.
2. Do things your parents never let you do
Photo by Ekaterina Belinskaya from Pexels
I’m doing this right now even as I write this article. When the Bratz cartoon aired, my mom did not let me watch it. Guess what twenty-five year old me is using as background noise? The Bratz show. When you’re an adult, you don’t have to get your parents’ permission. Now that you’re grown, you can watch that show your parents didn’t let you watch. Get McDonald’s even though you have food at home. Wear those clothes your mom and dad said were too revealing. Adult me loves wearing fishnets and garters! If you still live with strict parents, it would be good to develop an exit plan or to have a civil discussion on how they can acknowledge your adulthood and stop giving you orders. You could also arrange a rent agreement so your situation them feels like a landlord agreement and not a bossy mom and dad deal. You’re an adult too, you can do anything that’s legal, because the older you get, the more things become legal.
3. Do things kids can’t legally do
Photo by Edoardo Tommasini from Pexels
As a kid, I always thought that fruity drinks in a margarita glass looked cute and wanted to try them (adult me realized that alcohol made me depressed but that’s beside the point). Now I can legally get one. You know what else I can legally do? Drive, have sex, see R-rated movies, and smoke. I don’t smoke nor do I want to, but it feels good knowing that I can. If you’re twenty-one and reading this, the law says you can too. If you’re getting nostalgic, chances are you enjoyed your childhood, go on and enjoy your adulthood. Be safe though, and know that you can do more with your adulthood too.
4. Fulfill a childhood dream
Photo by Amina Filkins from Pexels
As a teen, I wanted to be a personal trainer, now I am one! I discovered exercise when I was thirteen and didn’t stop. It feels good knowing that I am what young me wanted to become. You can be what you wanted too. Work toward the dream job, get that dream wardrobe, go to where you’ve always wanted to go on vacation. The dream can even be small too, whatever you can do and afford.
5. Treat yourself with your adult money
Photo by Tim Douglas from Pexels
I get that not everyone can do this one, but you don’t have to spend a fortune to do it. On your next weekend, you can go on that shopping spree at the mall like you saw the MyScene girls do. Buy yourself something delicious. Throw yourself the birthday party your parents didn’t. Heck, even buy yourself a toy, no one can stop you! Just because you have adult money doesn’t mean you always have to act like an adult.
6. Understand that you don’t have to let go of what made you happy, just the lack of responsibility
Photo by Andre Furtado from Pexels
C.S Lewis said “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” Lewis said this after he told his readers that he was embarrassed of his love for fairy tales at age ten, but the embarrassment went away as he grew up. Enjoying kid things it doesn’t make you less of an adult. You can be an independent, responsible, taxpaying citizen while going in the toy aisle in a unicorn onesie. After work, you can eat chicken nuggets and watch Disney movies. You can spend part of your paycheck on the 20th Annivery Bratz dolls. Catch my drift? Good, hope you do for my next point.
7. Ask yourself: what exactly about childhood do I miss?
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels
Really dig deep here. When people miss their childhood, I often hear them talk about their favorite shows or games. Chances are you don’t miss childhood because of the shows and toys. You can still watch the shows that aired then. You can find the toys on eBay. Chances are, you miss more than the aesthetic and retail items from your younger years. Recently I was talking to someone on 7cupsoftea about my nonstop feelings of nostalgia. I thought I wanted to be a kid again because I didn’t like working and paying rent. Although having someone pay for all my expenses was nice, it wasn’t why I wanted to go back to the 2000’s. With my conversation on the website, I realized that as a kid I didn’t feel a constant need to achieve. This need to achieve was influenced by many messages I received through my life, all of them boiling down to some form of “you’re not good enough.” Among these messages were that I should be getting all A’s and no B’s, I needed to straighten my curly hair, and I had numerous rejections of my poems and a book I wrote. The book I wrote was picked up by a publisher, but the deal fell through. Because of all this and more, I felt like I had to achieve all the time, something I didn’t feel as a young kid. I’m working on letting this need go, especially since so much of what I have achieved (becoming a personal trainer, publishing poems, graduating college a semester early, getting over 40K Tiktok followers) was done because I enjoyed what I was doing, not because of some need to achieve. I do not need to be a child again to combat the pervasive need to accomplish things. All I need is to learn how to enjoy life again. I miss kid me, but not everything from my childhood has to go.
8. You don’t have to leave your aesthetic behind
Photo by Anastasiya Lobanovskaya from Pexels
The Y2K era may be over, but I’ll be damned if I don’t wear the skimpy clothes from then! Also, I will wear them while shopping at Claire’s after I listened to bubblegum pop on the way to the mall. Who cares if it’s not in style? My style is all that matters. It’s retro now, so it has it’s own appeal that today’s trends can’t match.
9. Realize that your view of your past is idealized
No childhood/adolescence/part of adulthood is perfect. As a kid, you surely had times you were bored and couldn’t just drive off and go do something fun. Also, kids cry and throw tantrums, so obviously being young isn’t always easy. In second grade I wished I wasnt born. Although I cannot remember the reason for such a feeling, it goes to show that you’re capable of sadness at any point in your life. On the bright side, the same is true for happiness.
Nostalgia has its benefits and drawbacks. It lets you relive the happiness you felt, but it can sometimes lead you to think that the best has already happened. You may not be a kid anymore, but that doesn’t mean life isn’t fun anymore. Life wasn’t even always fun as a kid, and it’ll have downsides as an adult and it’s okay. When you grow up, you trade the ease of childhood for the freedom of adulthood. Using that freedom is what little you looked forward to.