Why I Refuse To Call My Daughter A Tomboy
Catherine Connors
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Yes, labelling anything as a boy thing or a girl thing fucking sucks for all of humanity and is limiting to both genders.

The tomboy identity is a part of a gender spectrum methinks. Perhaps the name “tomboy” is lame because it actually uses a gender pronoun in the word, and that’s what makes you uncomfortable? If there was some other word for rough and tumble girls that didn’t have anything to do with gender, that would make more sense to me. Does that word exist?

I guess what I’m getting at is:

While I hated when people called me one (for the reasons you stated), I was a tomboy growing up. I played roller hockey and collected X-Men cards. Being labelled a tomboy felt safe because allowed me an asexual way to explore my gender presentation publicly. Basically, it allowed me to hide in plain sight and still be myself until I felt less clueless/more confident and was able to come out as gay.

A little girl that’s so obsessed with this label might actually be trying to figure out what to call herself in a broader sense than her set of interests…

Now, is every little girl that’s into dirt bikes gay? No. Do I kind of hate the word Tomboy? Yes. It makes me feel cutesy and gross. But I also think currently because young girls still feel confused and nervous about their sexuality, it can be a step for a lot of questioning folks that will eventually turn out to be queer. I would love thoughts anyone has on what this should be called!

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