Our eulogy to our mom, Gisele Stickler
Written and spoken by Danielle and Kevin Stickler at her funeral

I feel like I am waking up from a dream. Like the sweetest dream you could ever imagine. One of those dreams where you close your eyes the second they open, trying to will yourself back to sleep to savor just one more second so I can see her face, hold her hand, tell her I love her one more time.
How in the world were we so lucky to be chosen as this woman’s children? To have spent our lives being her pride and joy, feeling her unconditional love and watching and learning from her deeply wise self. She did everything for Kevin and I. She was everything to us. She was our mother. She was our pillar. She was our idol and our world. We cherished every moment we had with her, and sat on her every word and this is what she taught us.
Don’t feel bad for yourself, rise to the challenge, and smile through the pain
If there is one thing we can all learn from my mom it is how to be strong in the face of adversity. She did not let her cancer define who she was, the mother and wife she was going to be, or change her positive outlook on life. Everytime she would walk foot into UCSF or was admitted into the hospital she greeted everyone with a smile or a hug and left everyone with the same impression — that they just met someone unforgettable and truly special.
Part of what made my mom one of a kind, was that she had the remarkable ability to figure out every doctors, nurse, radiologist, basically everyone’s life story and remember it. She would always ask them questions about their wedding plans, their children, their parents, or notice a new pair of shoes they were wearing. It did not matter. She always stayed her charming, bubbly, and loving self despite everything. She always remained strong and never let anyone see her struggle or pain besides us. “Gisele, we need to admit you and give you strong chemo and a stem cell transplant”…”okay, well my son is getting married and I am going to be there so let’s get the ball rolling”. “Gisele, giving you more radiation in that eye will make you go blind”…”okay, well I do not see another option so let’s do it”. “Gisele, the treatments aren’t working anymore and you know you can say no to us giving you more, your body is getting very weak”…”okay well, I want to live, you will save me, so do what you have to do. I am not going to die or give up”. “Gisele, your kidneys are going and fluid is going to your lungs”…”okay, well they have come back before and I’ll do the dialysis, let’s just get going”. “Gisele, you have had two strokes and the cancer has gone to your brain”…”okay, well I am going home and doing this my way, thank you.”
Love unconditionally, she taught us.
If my mom was one thing, it was love. She had it for everybody. It was her answer for everything. She gave it so naturally and freely. There was never a day in my life I questioned her love for me or my brother or my dad. She showed it boldly and in all the small ways in between for everyday of our lives.
Remain loyal to your people … and always to your family, she taught us.
My mom would do anything for anybody. She went the extra mile for people she hardly knew. She’d swim an ocean for her closest friends and family. She was there when you did NOT need it, and she was there when you needed it most. I’ll never forget the way she showed up for every single swim meet despite how sick or tired she was, how she answered every phone call, how she listened to me cry/yell/laugh and offer perfect advice or just calmly listen, and how she stood by our grandma’s side during the end of her life. My mom sacrificed it all for other people’s well-being. She sacrificed it all for me and my brother. Except to her, it wasn’t a sacrifice, it was love and it was just who she was. She never turned her back on anybody, and the number of people in this room is a testament to that.
And finally, she taught us to embrace life’s challenges. It can be a gift if we let it be, she taught us. THIS lesson she taught us over and over again.
And so here we stand amidst this new life challenge. Probably the greatest of our life. Which only means one thing, it’s an opportunity to learn another one of life’s beautiful lessons. To come out the other side with greater wisdom and depth. As we journey forward through this rite of passage into the second chapter of our lives, we invite you all to join us. To pick up her torch and march with our heads held high, keeping in mind all the lessons she taught us along the way. To see it as another one of my mom’s gifts — an opportunity to learn and grow from.
Mom you were everything to me. I’ll forever be finding the subtle ways you remind me you are here with me. I’ll forever be your daughter. You will forever be my mom. I know you loved us so much and I know we are missing out on so much that we wanted to do together, but I promise you…I will not let you down. I am so grateful for the 25 years we had together and I promise you I will live everyday for you. I promise you I will love big and have no regrets. But most importantly, I promise you I will continue to make you proud and be the positive, compassionate, and loving daughter you raised me to be. And please, do not worry about me, Kevin or dad…you showed us how to be strong and we will be okay. It will forever be my greatest honor to be Paulette Besse’s granddaughter and your daughter and to have been shaped into the woman I am today by you two…I love you so much and I know that I will see you again.
Kevin — As we watched our parents over the years, we have been able to learn many important lessons and we’ve seen how they really were one another’s best friend. They say every man grows up to marry his own mother and I can honestly say that her love, caring about others and courage is what i found in Michelle and also allowed me to marry my best friend. Throughout my mom’s fight, my dad has been there by her side every moment and without hesitation. Seeing how my dad accepted her cancer as part of their lives. The love he had for her is part of what made my mom so strong. He drove her to appointments, spent countless hours in the hospital, took care of her when she was too sick to take care of herself, picked her up when she feel down both figuratively and literally, and toward the end he was fighting for the both of them. He was always there to remind her how loved, beautiful, and special she was. I know when you’re married and take a vow it’s your responsibility to be their in sickness and in health, but I’d be remiss not to mention how my Dad accepted this challenge and stepped up for our family when we needed it the most these last 14 years. You can’t assume everyone would embrace that challenge and be that constant support system, not just for my mom, but for Danielle and I too. Just being by her side through adversity has shown me a man and partner that I aspire to be. Mom, I hope that I’ve made you proud to call me your son and love you so much. Not a day will go by when you are not in my thoughts and I think of your beautiful smile.
To close, we want to say from the bottom of our hearts, thank you to Dr. Wolf and his entire UCSF team for giving us 14 more years with her. For giving us the graduations, the vacations, the birthdays, the holidays, and most of all for getting her to mine and Michelle’s wedding. Also, we want to thank everyone here for taking such good care of us these past years, months, and weeks. It has meant absolutely everything. And more importantly, when the dust settles, don’t forget about us or my mom and her fight. We are all better people because of her, and part of her lives on within each of us.
On behalf, of the Stickler’s thank you again for taking the time to attend today and thank you for listening.