It’s Ok If Your Mom Wasn’t Perfect

Mine Wasn’t, But That’s Ok.

For some of you, your relationship with your mom is a beautiful thing. For some of you, it’s the complete opposite. And then there is a whole spectrum that is in-between.

I don’t pretend that my relationship with my mom is the greatest, and I also don’t make our relationship out to be something that it isn’t. But you know what I can do? I can be grateful for everything I learned from her.

I love my mom. She has been through so much in her life. From multiple surgeries as a child, to a home life that was not always that stable. She experienced pain in ways I don’t believe I ever will. She never complained about that pain, but I could see it at times.

She helped raise six kids and tried to do it the best way she knew how. No, she didn’t always do it best. And no, she didn’t always make the best choices. But she worked hard, tried to love, grew over time, and did the best she could.

She worked on getting her degree and worked hard as a nurse to take care of my family. She went through heartbreak while also going through my temper tantrums. She was brave in so many ways, yet had many flaws as well. But that’s the beauty of it. If you hold pain or regret or bitterness toward someone for things they said or did, you hold yourself in prison, not them.

When you love them for who they are, forgive them for their actions or inaction, and give them a chance, you empower them to make empowering choices. You empower yourself to leave that invisible prison of hurt, anger, and bitterness.

My mom is a human that is learning and growing just the same as all of us. Your mom is as well, and that will be the same for you as a parent.

The thing is, we can take things from our relationships and grow from them in beautiful ways. If you see something in your mom you want to emulate, then you are able to instill that in your life. If you had hurt or pain from them, you could become bitter — or you could become better. You could be grateful for learning that you have an incredible impact on those around you.

I’m grateful for the good, and I’m grateful for the bad. I’m grateful for the chance to know what I should do, and what I maybe shouldn’t do. I’m thankful that I can wish my mom a Happy Mother’s Day, while knowing that it’s not just that day I should thank her or love her. It’s a journey, and it’s a growing opportunity.

When you think of your relationship with your mom, remember this. The present moment is all you have. You can embrace the relationships you have with arms wide open and forgive, love, believe, hope, and walk in gratitude, or you can live in your invisible prison.

I choose the former.

Happy Mother’s Day

Daniel Okon

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