While it may sound cruel in a way, when you are so obviously grieving for a child, I want to wish you a happy Mother’s Day today. Once a mother always a mother. Though you may not have known it at the time you first became one, being a mother has been one of the most courageous acts of your life. You must continue to inhabit this part of yourself, ‘mother’ as opposed to ‘Erika’, for the rest of your life. What I am trying to say here is that I think the emotions you experience as mother are sharper, more deeply felt than what you feel otherwise.
I chose not to become a mother, so my feelings don’t stem from having experienced that. I do know how to be a sister, auntie, and a friend.
I think your courage will continue to grow and guide you.