Daniel StillmanGovernor Pritzker Orders Ugly Illinois Residents To Stay Home Until End of April Just In CaseGovernor J.B. Pritzker orders ugly Illinois resident to stay home until end of April just in case to combat COVID-19.Mar 21, 2020Mar 21, 2020
Daniel StillmanPaul Rudd, Andy Samberg, Jesus Christ, and Other Nice Jewish Boys Who Just Don’t Age!Not every mensch is fortunate enough to drink from the fountain of youth, but these nice Jewish boys are truly The Chosen Ones!Dec 9, 2019Dec 9, 2019
Daniel StillmanSpotify Wrapped Reveals Guy Listened To 50,000 Minutes Of Roommate Having Sex With GirlfriendChicago resident was not happy to see his Spotify Wrapped resultsDec 5, 2019Dec 5, 2019
Daniel StillmaninThe HavenEveryday Superheroes Getting Their Own Marvel FranchisesThere’s a hero in all of us, or well, at least these guys.Oct 24, 2019Oct 24, 2019
Daniel Stillman7 Laws That Still Apply When You’re Drinking White ClawsThere ain’t no laws when you’re drinking White Claws? Nope, not so true.Sep 4, 2019Sep 4, 2019
Daniel StillmanMy Wife and Everything Else Leaving Me (and Netflix) In August 2019Once August 1st rolls around, don’t expect my wife Susan to make it to your kid’s birthday party. Scarface too.Jul 25, 2019Jul 25, 2019
Daniel StillmanReport: All Of This Could Have Been Done At HomeAfter his sixth back-to-back meeting of the day in the office, Mark Jones, the staff accountant at KMDG has had enough of conference rooms…Jul 24, 2019Jul 24, 2019
Daniel StillmanThe 3 Times I Was Run Over By The Cash CabBefore the rise of Uber and Lyft in the early 2010's, New York City residents had a limited number of transportation options to get around…Jul 24, 2019Jul 24, 2019
Daniel StillmanWoah: This Student Can Graduate In 3 Years If They Want To, But Probably Won’tDavid Jones, a sophomore at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign announced unsolicitedly he can graduate in three years.Jul 9, 2019Jul 9, 2019
Daniel StillmanAll Is Forgiven: Person Who Is Vomiting and Crying At Party Announces They’re So SorryA tequila-filled night ended on a heartbreaking, tearful note for Lakeview partygoer Sophie Reynolds.Jul 7, 2019Jul 7, 2019
