Control: I’m in the middle of a flood
I’m in the middle of a flood. Water is overwhelming me. It is pouring all over the neighborhood. My mom and I, Dalton Lewis, took a walk. We went southeast and saw an intersection flooded with water so badly one probably couldn’t drive. We went southwest and saw an intersection flooded with water so badly that one couldn’t drive. It’s a park northwest of me and a bridge. The bridge usually has water twenty feet below the bottom of the bridge. Right now the water is about on the level of the bridge. The park is partially flooded, with water just all over the grass. Fish swim in subdivisions next to our subdivision. We met someone taking a walk. She was older but not as old as my dear old mom. She had taken pictures of everything. Oh, and north of us? Yes, that’s right, water, impacting the main road outside of our subdivision.
At the same time my life is a bit of a mess. My mom woke me up telling me to call my pharmacy for meds. I called at 3:30 to learn that I needed to call my doctor for a refill. My doctor’s office closes at 3:00. I woke up at 1:30 and should not have procrastinated. Oops. I can’t believe that I can fuck up so many stupid, pointless things in one day. As I was doing my daily facebook bullshit screwing around the computer turned off.
Power was out.
I sat there, having to live life without 21st century devices. Two minutes later I was terrified. What should I do? How do I live? How does one function without central heating, lights, refrigerators, and computers? What does one do for fun? I didn’t know the answers to any of these questions. I was contemplating them for an hour until the power came back on. Ok, ok. I can ignore that set of problems now and assume that it has gone away….but I expect the power to go out again soon.
No problem. Power was restored. This minor disaster isn’t worth worrying about. It’s not like I died or anything. The overwhelming problems of my life — mental illness, lack of success at work, lack of romantic entanglements, the crushing depression involved with having lived alone — all of it is drowning me just the same as the actual water in our neighborhood. I need to deal with all of it in the same way as the flood — get rid of the problems and forget about them entirely.
Thanks, and take care, friends.