Control: I’m Seven Years In

I, Dalton Lewis, have been writing a book — on and off — for seven years. The book, Teenage Nightmare Chronicles, is about a series of young adults who are mentally ill in some way. I need to finish it. I feel it myself. I know that the novel is a good one. I just have to convince everyone

I published it before, and people hated it. They hated it. They didn’t want to read it. They didn’t want anything to do with it.

“I imagine you’ll have to change the title,” Finnegan said. “Too many people are still bitter over the last one.”

“Why’d you change back to Nightmare Chronicles?” my sister messaged me.

So this isn’t the most popular choice of a book to rewrite, but I think I’m on to something here. I think that the novel could be very good if I respected the characters a little more and had a little more faith in their ability to do things and live impressively. I think I wanted to be harsh and critical of the characters and it didn’t come out as something anyone wanted to read.

First thing I do when I have written something is to give it to someone to get feedback. There’s a general rule about feedback: the more confident I am about a project, the worse the feedback. Everyone hates the projects that I work hardest on.

My real life is boring compared to my stories. For dinner we ate chicken with a tomato sauce and parmesean on top. We also ate garlic shells which are delicious pasta. I took a nap and forgot to take my meds last night. I had to take them at 8:30 am and sleep until 2:30.

In stories my characters fight for their lives. In real life an old college buddy invites me to Missouri, a place I can’t visit alone and don’t have anyone to go there with. I’d like to see him but can’t.

I have scheduled two more GT’s — grand tournaments — to go to. I hope that GT’s will be something I can successfully do. I am limited in what I can accomplish. I can’t drive. I can’t work. I can’t date. I can’t drink. I have so many basic activities that are impossible for me to do.

I need to write about these things: driving, working, dating, drinking. I need to write about what it was like, to be in my late teens into my early twenties and thinking I was starting something fantastic.

Thanks, and take care, friends.