Control: In the Far Future…

I will be mad if everyone is happy in the far future. I will be furious. I will not stand for this. Happy futures are the bane of a writer’s mind: they shall not pass. I can’t have everyone sitting in a row at a pew talking about how great the overmind is. I can’t have everyone bowing at the same religion of prosperity and happiness. I can’t have that.

Why? Because there will always be haves and have-nots, and I will always support giving more to the have-nots. I will always be a mentally ill person who knows what it’s like to bag groceries in his thirties instead of having a nice business job. I will always be someone whose first novel didn’t sell well. I, Dalton Lewis, will always be someone who wrote a novel, Teenage Nightmare Chronicles, that no one bought. I will always be synonymous with the outsider mentally ill white male. I will always be that guy.

I don’t want to give up on the have-nots and have them give up on fighting and rebelling. I want them to figure out how to fight back, move towards the ranks of the rich and successful. I want that to happen.

How will I make that happen in my personal life? I ate McDonalds today because it was cheap and delicious. I can’t afford expensive food every single meal if I eat out. I can’t do that. I had to stop buying miniatures — for the most part — because it got too expensive. I know a lot of people have budgets. One friend of mine decided that genestealer cult would cost 1000 dollars to build and that he couldn’t afford it.

I want to make it in life. I want to be a successful person. Really I do. I don’t know what needs to happen in order to make that happen. I need to figure out a solution to my life. Solve for x, self. It can’t be that hard.

Thanks, and take care, friends.