Control: Not Everyone Likes Me

I suppose that I am an acquired taste. Not everyone wants to hang out with me and do things with me and be friends with me. Not everyone likes football, either, and I like football just fine. Not everyone agrees with me that esports are fantastic. Not everyone wants to read my novels. I understand. I will continue to write and impress people that actually care about a fat middle-aged man who desperately cares about everyone around him.

That’s ok that some people don’t like me.

That’s fine.

There’s nothing wrong with certain people not wanting to hang out with me. I feel like the guy no one would want to play in a movie about Finnegan’s life, or Phillip’s life, or Gilbert’s life.

I know. I have an easy-ish life, only having to deal with a crippling, debilitating mental illness. It makes me not open the bread correctly on purpose. It makes me rant to the walls about crime and getting framed. It makes me miss things, like the Bears game, because the meds make me sleep way too long.

I think that, if a movie were made about me and my friends, I would not have much of a part. There’s no romantic scenes for me. I work hard at strategy gaming and writing, two things about which I am very passionate.

I know that I don’t have what you call the most exciting life of all time, and I want to make that change. I want to do things that are different and interesting. I want to be a person who takes risks and does more than the normal person would do.

I am winning maybe forty-five percent of my Starcraft 2 games. That’s not an acceptable percentage; it needs to go up. I am watching some football and need to watch more. I could even blog about the football season. That would be an interesting series of blogs. I could watch and review a different game every day of the week.

The Chicago Bears are my favorite football team. It used to be the Detroit Lions when I was young, and then I switched to the Bears eventually after moving to the Chicagoland area. This was circa 1992, twenty-five years ago, that I moved.

Mitchell Trubisky is the quarterback of the future, the second pick in the entire NFL draft. He threw an enormous forty-five yard touchdown today. I am certainly impressed. He is probably twenty-two or so, and I am almost double that.

Injuries are a part of football. There will be injured players in almost every game. Kevin White missed a couple of years and may never recover.

Do you understand? I need a chance to convince people that I should entertain them. I need to convince people to give two fucks about my writing. I need to try to sell myself to people, and I hate selling anything at all.

The gist of it? I am a football fan, esports fan, board game player, and a novelist. I want to move you with words. If you don’t find anything of that interesting, then good luck to you. I didn’t need your help anyway.

Thanks, and take care, friends.