Control: Restatement of Blog’s Thesis
I want to reiterate: one needs to control one’s self. Anyone who tells you to live life to the fullest is a lie. One needs to resist the urge to murder, rape, kidnap, and enslave people. I need to do that, and I do that every day.
I forget that sometimes. Amidst the video games and board games I forget the creation of the blog. I wanted to write something honest and painful. I wanted to write about something vicious and hard and difficult, like asking someone for sex several times and feeling badly about it afterwards.
I wanted to write about pain. I wanted to write about my lack of a current sex life or professional life. I have the blog. I, Dalton Lewis, sold one copy of my most recent epic, Teenage Nightmare Chronicles. I am sad and sorry about that. I want to write a book for publication by September 15. I think that is a reasonable goal. I want to write in a day what I am supposed to write in a week of a how to write book that I picked up. I think it’s a reasonable goal.
I slept during the middle of the day today. I can do that. I have a messy home. I can do that. I work on my novel periodically. I can do that. I know that I need more discipline in my life. There’s no one policing my work ethic but me. I need a system of rewards for working hard. I feel that one’s work ethic has a lot to do with one’s relative success or failure in life.
I know, this blog is tough stuff. It’s not fun today. Listen: life isn’t all fun. It matters. Every choice one makes matters. Every little decision adds up to make one’s full life…I know, that it’s difficult, to think about restraint and not hurting anyone and doing the right thing. It’s hard. It’s boring. It’s also worth doing.
Let me tell you about the voices: I was at a restaurant today. I thought about not letting the server put the food on the table. The voices said that I had to eat disgusting food for 30 days in order to be punished for that. I refused. I did 2000 years dead for refusing this simple punishment.
This is insane. This didn’t happen. This wouldn’t happen. Nothing like this is plausible. It entered my mind, though, and I worried like it was real. I don’t know why — I just worried like it was actually happening.
Let me reiterate: have control. Resist. Don’t live life to the fullest. Be careful to be, simply, a good person. That matters.
Thanks, and take care, friends.