Caregiving Isn’t ‘Just a Family Matter’
Senator Vance and former President Trump show just how out of touch they are with the real challenges caregivers face each day.
Recently, Senator J.D. Vance suggested families should “call grandma and grandpa” to help with caregiving, while former President Trump downplayed the cost of childcare, dismissing it as “not that expensive” and “not that big of a problem.”
I’m grateful that my mother is still around to help, Mr. Trump, but with three kids in three different schools — one with special needs — and two working parents, childcare is about much more than just “watching the kids.” My mother would need to rearrange her own commitments and health needs, and if you haven’t noticed, millions in her generation are in the same situation, struggling with rising healthcare costs and inflation. Times have changed, and America is lagging behind when it comes to supporting caregivers. This isn’t just a burden for mothers and grandmothers to bear — it’s on policymakers to step up and deliver real solutions.
Why Ignoring Women’s Labor Is Hurting Us All
Caregiving responsibilities should be shared equitably, and we must move away from gendered expectations of care. However, two-thirds of caregivers are women, and they often report higher levels of stress and burden, likely due to the greater number of caregiving responsibilities they assume. We are, quite literally, sick and tired.
I am an operations executive, licensed clinician, a mother and caregiver managing her own health conditions caught in an impossible work/life balance, and I can confirm that it is expensive, stressful, and a huge challenge. And I am not alone. While we manage careers, health, and the care of loved ones, our efforts frequently go unnoticed, unappreciated, and unpaid.
This labor reinforces systemic inequities that already threaten women’s health. Despite the central role caregivers play, we are failing to address the cost this burden places on women. This inequity urgently calls for policies that not only serve all people but prioritizes the unique needs of women.
Who Should Bear the Cost?
During particularly challenging moments, I felt immense love for my children but also an overwhelming sense of exhaustion. When I was a mom of two and the Executive Director of a large behavioral health nonprofit, and pregnant with our third, I had to leave work at exactly 5:00 p.m. to pick up one child from daycare in a stroller and the other from after school care, all before 6:00 p.m., when the centers started charging by the minute. Then came dinner, bath time, and prepping for the next day, making sure I was on time for work again. I’d never been so physically exhausted in my life. The love for my children was always present, but so was the cost — both literal and emotional.
As we talk about caregiving as a public good, the key question remains: who should bear the cost — employers, healthcare payers, or society as a whole?
The answer isn’t as simple. It lies in a more equitable distribution of caregiving responsibilities and compensation for those who care, including childcare workers and early educators. Employers must recognize the value of caregivers, not just in their homes but in their workforce. Companies like mine help caregivers access federal and state programs that pay caregivers, support for Veterans, and tax credits so they don’t need to make the difficult choice of roles. I’ve seen colleagues take personal leave to care for ailing family members, only to return to work in lower positions. Payers must consider the long-term benefits of supporting caregivers, as healthier caregivers lead to healthier families and reduced healthcare costs. Society must acknowledge caregiving as a public good that benefits all of us. Social determinants of health such as gender, race/ethnicity, and socioeconomic status in caregiving research are vital to addressing health disparities.
The Roadmap for Action
What Trump said is utterly ignorant and reveals a glaring disconnect between their opinions and the real struggles many caregivers face. Instead of making those comments, here are 5 policies he should be supporting instead that would be particularly impactful for women:
Paid Family Leave and Flexible Work Arrangements: Workers in the U.S. are not guaranteed paid leave by federal law, and many lack unpaid leave as well. Implementing comprehensive paid family leave policies and adopting flexible work arrangements, such as remote work options accelerated by the COVID-19 pandemic, would allow women to balance caregiving responsibilities with their careers more effectively without sacrificing income or job security.
Universal Child Care: High-quality child care would benefit all families, and would significantly benefit women who often bear the brunt of caregiving responsibilities. The Biden administration has taken steps to increase funding for childcare services to make it more affordable and accessible.
Expanded Access to Reproductive Health Services: Policies to expand access to contraception, prenatal care, and other reproductive health services are still being debated. These would ensure that all women have access to necessary health care regardless of their financial situation.
Comprehensive Maternal Health Care: Initiatives to address maternal mortality and improve maternal health care, particularly for women of color through the Black Maternal Health Momnibus Act, are in progress but have not yet been fully implemented.
I get it–we should open all doors and ask our family to help when they can. But if we are serious about women’s health, we must address caregiving as a fundamental issue — not dismiss it as something easily handled by “calling grandma and grandpa” or downplaying its costs. The comments by Senator Vance and former President Trump show just how out of touch they are with the real challenges caregivers face every day. Failing to support caregivers doesn’t just hurt women’s health — it reinforces the inequalities in our healthcare system. If we’re serious about building a fair and inclusive system, we need to put caregivers front and center, because when they’re supported, everyone benefits.
Danika Mills, MSW, LCSW, MPS, LCAT, CCM is Head of Care Operations at Grayce
