Dan Janal
Dan Janal
Aug 29, 2017 · 2 min read

A park. Backdrop show hiking trails, mountains and valleys. VINNIE and LOUIE, two tourists, drive into the park.

RANGER 1: Welcome to the park, fellas. There’s parking on the right. Enjoy your stay.

VNNIE: Yeah, have a nice day. Nice day for a walk in the park.

LOUIE: Where’d he say we should park?

VNNIE: It doesn’t matter. We make the laws. We park where we want. Park anywhere. I don’t see any handicapped people. Park in that spot. I call this “Vinnie’s Parking Law.”

LOUIE: I don’t think we should do that. It’s not right.

VNNIE: Hey! What did I say? We make the laws. Don’t forget that. We pay taxes. This park is here because of our taxes. We do what we want. Park there. Don’t forget to bring Scruffy. That pooch would love this park.

LOUIE: But the sign says “No pets on overlook.”

VNNIE: What did I tell you about the laws? We make the laws. I call this “Vinnie’s Pet Law.”

RANGER 1: Hey fellas. I see you parked in the handicapped spot. I don’t see your sticker. You’re going to have to move the car.

VNNIE: (fake sheepishly) Oh, golly. I must have forgotten it, officer. Oh, this is my wife’s car. She took my car to get washed. I guess she forgot to give me the pass.

RANGER 1: And that dog. We don’t allow dogs on these paths. They’re too close to the hills.

VNNIE: (fake sheepishly) Oh, but officer, he’s my service dog.

RANGER 1: I don’t see his service dog vest.

TOURIST: Oh, my wife is washing the vest.

RANGER 1: Well, be careful. These hills can be dangerous. (To Ranger 2) I don’t like the looks of these guys. I see trouble.

RANGER 2: There’s not a lot we can do. Let’s see how it plays out.

VNNIE: (Walking along the path) See, I told you. We write the laws. We can do whatever we want. No one can touch us! I call this “Vinnie’s Law of Invincibility.”

LOUIE: I guess you’re right.

VNNIE: Hey, let’s hop the fence. I can get a great selfie if I stand on the other side of the fence. I don’t want the ugly fence to ruin my picture.

LOUIE: But the sign says, “Don’t stand on the overhang. Dangerous.”

VNNIE: What did I tell you about laws? What did I tell you about signs? (jumps the fence). I call this “Vinnie’s Law.” Yeah. Just “Vinnie’s Law.” I can’t think of a funny name for every law. Come here Scruffy. Let’s take a picture. (Scruffy runs through the fence and falls from the cliff.) Scruffy!

LOUIE: Rangers! You have to help us! Scruffy fell. He’s sliding down the hill. He’s a cliffhanger!

RANGER ONE: Well, boys, there’s one law you can’t disobey without consequences. It’s called The Law of Gravity. You guys are jerks, but I love dogs. Let’s see what we can do.

(end)

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    Dan Janal

    Written by

    Dan Janal