Interior of a car
WOMAN: I can’t believe you talked me into going to the Home Depot. I hate that place.
MAN: It’s not so bad. It’s like a toy store for adults.
WOMAN: You mean men. It’s a toy store for men. There’s nothing for me there.
MAN: Hey, you wanted to get out of the house and we’re getting out of the house. Cabin fever. Besides, there’s not much else to do in a vacation town during a rainstorm. We can’t walk on the beach. We’ve seen all the movies. Be a sport. Home Depot can be fun if you put your mind to it.
WOMAN: I’m only going under protest. You owe me one. You have to go shopping with me to a place you can’t stand. That’s payback.
MAN: Okay. Fair’s fair. But give it a shot.
WOMAN: It’s not like you actually need anything. You have a complete workbench at home. You have every tool imaginable. I wish you’d use them instead of stare at them.
MAN: Hey, that’s not fair. I do a lot of handwork around the house. I do such a good job, you don’t notice.
WOMAN: Well, maybe.
MAN: There’s no maybe about it. Didn’t I fix your rocking chair with my hammer?
MAN: Didn’t I fix the patio with my ball peen hammer?
MAN: Didn’t I fix the door with my claw hammer?
WOMAN: Okay, okay, okay. So you have a hammer for every occasion. What are you looking for at Home Depot?
MAN: Hammers. I want to see what’s new with hammers. There’s as much technology in a hammer as there is in a computer. The weight. The angle. The heft. The color. The wood. Is it maple or ash? The composites. There’s so much to see. I love hammers. I even have MC Hammer on my playlist. Wanna hear?
WOMAN: No. Hey, watch out. We’re about to go over that big bridge. I hate that bridge. It’s so steep. And in this rain, it’s hard to see 10 feet ahead of you.
MAN: It’s no problem — hey — that guy just hit his breaks. I’m going to hit him. I better swerve fast.
WOMAN: Oh no, we’re plunging off the bridge!
MAN: We’re going to hit the water!
WOMAN: The car is going to sink. Fast! Do something!
MAN: Windows won’t roll down.
WOMAN: The water is over the windshield. I can’t open the door. We’re stuck. Do something!
MAN: I have my glass-breaking hammer! Whew! Aren’t you glad I love hammers? (breaks glass, they swim to the shore.)