Interior of a car. A male drive share driver and a female passenger.
MAN: Welcome to my chariot. Where shall I take my princess?
WOMAN: Wow, that’s laying it on a bit thick. You can take me to the MOA Gallery.
MAN: Just like your Uber order said. We’re on our way.
MAN: Sorry for the intro, but us Uber drivers have to stand out from each other. I need to be memorable.
WOMAN: Just remember where the MOA Gallery is and we’ll do fine.
MAN: Ah, you’re going to the Rothko exhibit or Liebowitz retrospective?
WOMAN: Rothko. How do you know about art?
MAN: I majored in art history in college. That’s why I drive an Uber.
WOMAN: That’s funny.
MAN: I’m actually in pharmaceutical sales, but I’m between appointments. I can make $50 an hour driving. Sure beats getting a latte at Starbucks to kill time.
WOMAN: I guess.
MAN: And I meet interesting people.
WOMAN: So what do you know about Rothko?
MAN: Well, the critics love the way he intersperses shapes and themes. But I find that any third grader could have done the same thing. You know. Yellow box. Red box. Red box bleeds into yellow box.
WOMAN: That’s so true. It seems he was better at convincing the art critics he had something new to offer, but I don’t get it either.
MAN: He knew how to differentiate himself and brand himself.
WOMAN: That’s what you’re doing with your Uber introduction, right?
WOMAN: You’re actually a pretty interesting guy.
MAN. Thanks. Hey, we’re here early. The gallery isn’t open yet. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
WOMAN: Sure. I just have to text my friend.
MAN: Great. I have to text my next appointment.
WOMAN: (types onto her phone. Audience sees the typing.) The things I have to do to get a 5-star rating on Uber! I had to make conversation with the loser driver.
MAN: (types onto his phone. Audience sees the typing.) The things I have to do to get a 5-star rating on Uber! I had to pretend to flirt with a snobby customer.