2017 Scene-Writing Challenge: Day 6
Scott Myers
7

Interior of living room. MAN is pacing the room, clearly irritated. Looks at his watch. WOMAN walks in.

WOMAN: Hi, honey. I’m home! How was your day?

MAN: Your hair’s wet!

WOMAN: Uh, yeah. I guess I got caught in the rain.

MAN: It hasn’t rained today. Stop lying! Is that how you’re going to start this?

WOMAN: Start what?

MAN: I think you know.

WOMAN: I’m sure that I don’t know what you’re talking about. Have you been drinking? I just came home and want to relax. What’s gotten into you?

MAN: I could say the same thing about you!

WOMAN: What?

MAN: What’s gotten into you! Or rather who’s getting into you!

WOMAN: What are you talking about?

MAN: You’re having an affair! Admit it!

WOMAN: No, I’m not. What makes you think I’m having an affair? You’re nuts!

MAN: I’m nuts, huh? Well. Let’s look at the evidence and then try to deny it.

WOMAN: I can’t believe this.

MAN: You’re dressing better. In fact, you’re dressing sexier.

WOMAN: So, I want to look nice. What’s wrong with that?

MAN: You are coming home later than usual. I checked the mileage on your car and you’re driving 30 fewer miles a day!

WOMAN: What does that prove?

MAN: You’re driving somewhere out of the norm — to your lover, right?

WOMAN: No. You’re nuts. There’s an explanation.

MAN Save your excuses. Here’s what I know. You have more energy when you come home. You’re usually tired and grouchy.

WOMAN: Oh, so that’s it.

MAN: That’s what?

WOMAN: So what other so-called evidence do you have?

MAN: So that’s the way you want to play this? Okay. I overheard you taking to your girlfriend the other day. You said, “I feel like a whole new person. I feel like I’m getting a fresh start.” You’re having an affair. Admit it!

WOMAN: I’m not having an affair, you lovable idiot! I have a new job!

MAN: A new what?

WOMAN: A new job. I didn’t want to tell you. It pays a lot more and I wanted to surprise you.

MAN: A new job?

WOMAN: Yes. I got tired of the corporate life. All that stress. That’s why I’m driving less. The job is a lot closer to home. So I don’t spend so much time in traffic. That’s why I’m not drained and tired after a long, hard commute. I have more energy. In fact, I save so much more time, I’ve been going to yoga after work. That’s why I’m driving more. And yes, I take a shower after I work out, so my hair is wet.

MAN: I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?

WOMAN: Like I said. I wanted to surprise you and tell you that I’ve been able to pay off my credit cards because of the new job.

MAN: Oh boy. I’m proud of you. I guess I was wrong.

WOMAN: You sure were, but I love the fact you were jealous. Come here and give me a big kiss.

MAN: In a minute. I have to call my lawyer and tell him to stop the divorce papers.

WOMAN: You what?

MAN: It’s okay. Now I know you aren’t cheating on me. By the way, what’s your new job?

WOMAN: Stripper.

(end)

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