SCENE A traffic stop on the side of a quiet road.
COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
WOMAN: I have no idea.
COP: You were going 30 in a 25-mile per hour zone.
WOMAN: That’s hardly speeding.
COP: It’s breaking the law. May I see your license and registration, please?
WOMAN: Really? You want to see my license and registration? Don’t you know who I am?
COP: I’ve heard every excuse in the book, lady. You won’t impress me.
WOMAN: I don’t think I have to impress you!
COP: An attitude like that doesn’t help.
WOMAN: I’m not copping an attitude. I’m just surprised you don’t recognize me!
COP: Well, okay. I’ll play the game. You’re not the mayor.
WOMAN: I am not the mayor.
COP: You’re not the police chief.
WOMAN: I am not.
COP: You’re not even the wife of the police chief or mayor.
WOMAN: I most certainly am not!
COP: Are you rushing to hospital because you are pregnant?
WOMAN: Don’t be snide. I’m way past that age.
COP: Are you late for a meeting at work? Don’t answer that. Frankly. I don’t care if you are late for an important meeting at work. That’s about all the excuses there are.
WOMAN: Okay, I know one excuse you haven’t heard before.
COP: Lady, if you can tell me one excuse I haven’t heard, I’ll let you off and wish you a nice day. But I’ve heard them all. So what’s your excuse?
WOMAN: I’m your mother! I just came from my hair colorist and my Botox appointment. Don’t you recognize me?
COP: Oops. Sorry, mom. Have a nice day.
WOMAN: I guess I should be flattered! I look 10 years younger!