2017 Scene-Writing Challenge: Day 19
Scott Myers

SCENE: The front door of a suburban house. DOOR BELL rings.

BOB: (Opens door) Oh. Hi. Joe. (Without enthusiasm) What’s up?

JOE: Hey, Bob. You know we’re moving to Florida next month, right?

BOB: Yeah. Sorry to see you go. (Even less enthusiasm) You’ve been a good neighbor.

JOE: Well, Bob. Thanks. (Missing the sarcasm.) You’ve been great, too. You know, we were going to have a yard sale this weekend.

BOB: Yeah. Thanks for letting me know. I don’t mind the extra traffic. No problem.

JOE: Well, that’s not why I’m here, but thanks.

BOB: What’s up?

JOE: Well, I wanted you to have first dibs. You being such a good neighbor and all.

BOB: Oh?

JOE: Yeah. Well, I have some garden tools you might like to buy.

BOB: Like what?

JOE: Well, I got this great loper. It’s light weight aluminum so it’s light as a feather. And it has a lifetime warranty. It cuts tree branches great!

BOB: I don’t think so.

JOE: Why not? It’s in great shape! Brand new, it’s about $50. But since you’ve been a great neighbor, for you, only 25 bucks. Half price. It’s a bargain.

BOB: Not today.

JOE: Well, can I interest you in this weed whacker? Only $5.

BOB: No thanks.

JOE: Hey, how about I throw those both in with a leaf blower? You used to blow your own leaves and I know you didn’t do it last season so I know you need one.

BOB: I don’t think so.

JOE: Well, let me make you a deal you can’t refuse. The whole enchilada. All three tools. Only $25. That’s my final offer! If you don’t go for it, I’ll sell them on Saturday. It’ll go fast!

BOB: No.

JOE: Why the hell not? It’s a steal!

BOB: (Acidly) It certainly is a steal.

JOE: Whaddaya mean?

BOB: You stole those tools from me! You (uses air quotes) borrowed (end air quotes) them from me months ago and never returned them.

JOE: Uhhhh.

BOB: So hand them over. You were a rotten neighbor. (Grabs the tools.) Good riddance. (Slams the door.)

JOE: I kept the damned things clean and dry. He should be grateful to me.


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