A quick and easy way to feel better about yourself

If you’re anything like me, you probably have some self doubts, even moments when you wonder if you’re really any good at all. And believe me, it is no fun at all to open yourself up and tell the world about those self doubts. I mean, who knows what people might think? Or what people might say about you? No, thank you!

That vulnerability stuff is not for me. And I hope it’s not for you either, because I have a solution that I want you to consider. That solution is judgment.

Judgment is the quickest way to stop focusing on your own problems and start digging into other people’s problems! Judgment helps you take the focus on your own perceived or real shortcomings and foist those off onto someone less deserving.

You might be saying, “Dan, I don’t know if I could possibly apply this new and exciting judgment technology to my life.” My friend, I assure you that anyone can do it.

Say, for example, you see an article about a mother getting arrested for letting her child play in the park while she worked at McDonald’s. Too challenging? No, indeed, my friend. There are several angles you can take and you’ll feel better about your own parenting, poltics, or career in no time at all.

First, and easiest, is to judge this woman’s parenting. Judging another’s parenting is probably the easiest thing in the world. Just post a link to the article on Facebook with something like “What is the world coming to?” This has the advantage of allowing your friends to co-judge with you. Everyone is uplifted! Or you could take the opposite tack. “What are these authorities thinking?” After all, you’ve read one entire article. Surely you know better. Finally, if you are of a certain political persuasion, you could judge the mom for having such a crummy job. Why didn’t she go to college? What was she thinking having a kid without the means to support him? Or if you are of another political persuasion, you can blame our entire society for failing to support the working poor.

So as you can see, my friend, no matter the subject, you can find find fault and make yourself feel better at the same time. I encourage you to start looking for opportunities to start judging right away.

If the general news isn’t providing enough grist for your judgment mill, perhaps you can find people in your own workplace who have not mastered the minutia of Information Technology, design, English grammar, or your chosen field of expertise. You are sure to find insecure coworkers who are equally eager to boost their esteem at a coworker’s expense.

Drivers in your locale are a rich source of mockery and ridicule. Post a story on Facebook about a bad driving experience, followed by “ONLY IN [INSERT YOUR STATE HERE]” and watch the judgmental anecdotes roll in.

Friends, this is just the tip of the iceberg. You too can boost your self esteem, build lasting co-mockery relationships with coworkers, and feel superior with this amazing judgment technology. Get started today. The world isn’t going to judge itself.

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