Dear Friend,
If you’re reading this story, you’re either about to start your own personal development or self-improvement journey or you’re already on one.
Either way, it’s an awesome thing and I commend you for that. I’ve been on my own improvement journey for a few years now and have seen tremendous improvements in my health, my attitude, my actions, and my overall quality of life.
What is self-development?
When I speak about self-development, I’m referring to the process that a person undergoes by consuming knowledge and taking action in order improve various areas of their lives.
Areas including but not a limited diet, physical health, happiness, spirituality, career, business, or even your financial situation.
It’s a broad subject but the commonality that is shared between the areas is the focus on improvement in order to enhance the quality of your life.
Pursuing a self-help journey can include reading books, listening to audio, watching videos, working with a coach or mentor, or attending seminars.
There are many methods to choose from in order to learn and grow and depends on each individual’s personal preference.
One person may love to read and have time to do so and for another, they may not have any time and choose to listen to audiobooks while traveling or working.
Regardless of how you choose to consume your content, most people begin a personal development journey after they have decided that they’re not satisfied with where they are. Then, they decide they need to make changes in order to achieve the goals and life they want.
Whether you want to enhance your physical fitness levels, start a business, or excel in a career, you have to spend time working on yourself in order to gain the knowledge, expand your skills, and grow yourself. That includes growing your mindset, your confidence, and your belief that you will achieve the life you’re looking for.
Along the way, you’ll see many positive changes in yourself in terms of your thinking, behavior, and how you view the world.
This is all great and this is what everyone should be doing because if you’re not growing, you’re dying.
But sadly, many people choose to stop learning and grow very early in their lives and therefore, never really get to grow themselves to achieve the life they truly want.
Instead, they choose to settle for easy and average and that‘s unfortunate because what winds up happening is they ultimately suffer.
From what?
Well, regret, poor life choices, lack of fulfillment, and much more. But don’t worry, this won’t be you.
Anyway, you may be asking, “What possible negatives or downsides could there be to embarking on a personal development journey?”
Throughout my personal journey, I’ve noticed a few things as I continue to progress and expand my thinking and wanted to share them with you.
Here Are 5 “Downsides” of Personal Development…
1. You no longer relate to friends and family members
Since the majority of people aren’t into self-development, you may struggle to find people in your close circle that can relate to your newly found interests and ideas.
You may be excited to share information or try new things such as going to seminars but you may encounter resistance or disinterest.
Now, this is perplexing because you want to share information that has helped you and you believe it’ll will help others but they’re not receptive.
TIP: Part of self-development is learning to respect and having compassion for others. Understand that other people won’t share the same opinions or feelings you do or they’re at a different stage in life and that is okay.
Respect their position but continue with your journey. If they like the changes they see in you, maybe they’ll follow and come to you at that time.
2. Feelings of Isolation
Similar to point #1 but this becomes much broader as you realize it’s not just your close friends and family who aren’t interested in your new thinking and activities but also your coworkers and virtually everyone around you.
As I mentioned, the majority of people are NOT reading self-help books, listening and watching positive audio and video, or attending seminars. Therefore, it can be easier to feel like no one understands the new you.
TIP: You may need to spend less time with those who may be negatively affecting your growth as it does not align with your goals.
This is tough to do but is necessary because many times, a negative person can hold you back or deter from what you’re trying to achieve.
Try to find communities, whether it be online via Facebook groups or forums, or even in person so that you can connect and relate to like-minded people.
3. Comparing yourself to others
The more you consume information about individuals or groups achieving certain goals or living a certain lifestyle, it’s easy to judge yourself and your current situation.
You’ve seen what others have been able to do and you understand it’s also a possibility for you but the fact that you’re not there YET may be discouraging.
TIP: Understand that every individual who has achieved something you desire has had to go through their own struggles and path to get there that took time.
Don’t get jealous or envious but instead, feel joy for their success and learn what you can from them. You’ll get there too.
4. Impatience
As you try to model those who live the life you desire and you begin building the mindset needed so you can get there too, all you can think about is already being there.
Visions of the finances, the body, the health, or the career you want may stir feelings of frustration.
You know where you want to be, you probably have an idea of how to get there, but now the only thing that stands between you and your vision is time and ACTION.
TIP: Focus on the process and doing the steps needed to achieve your goals on a daily basis and understand the results will follow.
They may not occur in your desired timeframe but do NOT be discouraged. Continue to take action, move forward, and embrace the process.
5. Become consumed with learning
This is something that is very common among those who are developing themselves.
Too often, people become way too focused on consuming and learning new information because it gives them joy, happiness, and that dopamine hit because we feel as though we’re making progress.
I did this for a while. I read a ton of books but realized that I was still wasn’t making much progress besides the knowledge I had.
And the problem is that knowledge itself is not power. It’s only potential power and part of the equation. It’s what you do with the information that is critical in achieving your goals.
In addition, as you continue to learn and grow, you may fall into the trap and this idea of perfection before starting your plan.
Whether that be a fitness goal, starting a business, writing that book, etc. We may feel the need to have ‘all of the lights be green’ at the same time before we can make that first step.
This is detrimental to anyone’s progress because you’re not taking action which is the most important thing to focus on in order to get any results.
We may be fearful of making mistakes or being judged for starting something new but you can never achieve the desired outcome or manifest your dreams without taking consistent action.
TIP: Break down your goal into bite-sized chunks and create an action plan of daily tasks that produce an outcome that moves you towards your end goal.
We can often be overwhelmed with this gigantic mountain in front of us that we want to climb to reach what we want.
But remember that the journey begins and continues with small steps over an extended period of time.
This doesn’t mean you should not continue to learn and grow simultaneously but it’s vital that you focus on ACTION because it is the only thing that produces tangible results.
Wrapping Up
These are some of the “negatives” or “downsides” that I have personally experienced or noticed while on my own personal journey.
Now, I’m not saying one shouldn’t work on themselves, their health, career, and mind because of these handful of so-called drawbacks.
It was written with the intent to help you be aware of what to expect if you’re just starting out on your personal growth. And also, to have you understand that you’re not alone if you have felt these feelings.
I believe every single person should be working on themselves in some way or fashion in order to improve the quality of not only their life but also the lives of those around them.
This includes your friends, family members, associates, and even the strangers you don’t know.
One positive comment, gesture, or action can trigger a positive change in another’s day or even their lives in an instant.
So, keep learning, keep growing, and keep taking action.
Sincere wishes for a great life,
Dan Lu
Call to Action
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About the Author
Dan Lu is an author/writer focusing in areas of personal development, entrepreneurship, and marketing. He is the creator of the Feardeology concept (an ideology on how to leverage fear for positive life change) and the founder of Lifestyle Alchemedia. His mission is to improve the lives of others through sharing insights, tools, and strategies in self-improvement as well as online entrepreneurship.
Connect with Dan on LinkedIn or in his Facebook group, The Lifestyle Designers Tribe.
