Santas Digital Transformation
The world is changing and Santa’s getting left behind. Customer engagement is low, customer satisfaction is even lower as people’s expectations of what constitutes good service rise ever higher. Let’s see what digital transformation can do for Santa, his various helpers, and all the parents and children of the world.
This man is totally overworked, even before Christmas. Breaking it down, he has to:
- Spy on you to see if you have been good or bad. All year.
- Open and read all those letters perusing what people want for Christmas.
- Get all the gifts and in some cases even make them.
- Finally, he has to deliver it all in time it takes for one revolution of the Earth to everyone, personally.
Checking if you have been bad or good:
Grant Santa access to the mobile phone back door that will arrive pretty soon. Either that or he should outsource to a few Russian hacker elves, and set up a satellite office in Siberia, not too long a commute for St Nick. The hackers would identify what apps you are using and monitor all your social networks , take your GPS data for behavioral activity matched to CCTV, payment and transit records. Use of Tinder constitutes being struck of Santa’s list for the year, with no chance of redemption — unless extremely strong sustained philanthropist behaviours are exhibited.
The letters to Santa:
This activity is sooo analogue and over. Letters should not be written to, let alone opened by, the Claus. Big Data’s already at work here (with a BIG role). Your parents’ online store visits, purchases and netflix viewing habits are all hacked together with current trends by an SantAI to deliver a gift profile. Customer effort is no longer required and manual deciphering of children’s underdeveloped hand writing by the man himself is a thing of the past (he’s getting on a bit now, with cataracts).
If you really must get in contact with Santa there are options. For the lower income bracket, you can use the SantaChatbot and for the privileged few you can book a VR meet and greet (no more shopping mall grottos for all concerned). Santa gets more free time to devote to lucrative sponsorship deals and endorsements, while you don’t have to lift a finger to tell Santa what you want.
Getting the stuff:
OK, here’s the biggy, this is tough work for Santa and his team. I propose a global decentralised distribution + manufacture system, namely ‘click and collect’ stores, with 3D printers, where a selection of distribution methods can be employed. This of course makes Santa’s little helper Elves redundant and outsources the supply chain, driving value.
Packages will be picked up by specially designed driverless vehicles. These vehicles are specially designed to carry the gifts with a table top area to enable gift wrapping on the go. The little elves from Santa’s manufacturing workshop that we recently made redundant can be reemployed locally on 0 hour contracts to wrap the present and do a personal delivery dance. To give the little elves a little more work, they have been tasked with picking up all the packaging and recycling it on Boxing Day.
So, in conclusion:
Santa can put his feet up with no spying, reading or rushing around and you don’t have to think about what to get or even gift wrap. And, at point of exchange, you get a gleeful little dance from Santa’s helper elves and your discarded wrapping and packaging can get recycled. Just don’t forget to tip: They only get to work for two days a year! Oh, and all going well, next year Santa can retire as SantAI takes over.
First published on my site: