The Year I Said No
Busy. That’s our MO as humans isn’t it? Work, family, fun, community, social media, TV, books, movies, exercise (yeah right) … a rolling stone gathers no moss right?
Well I’ve become too busy. Or at least it seems that way at the beginning of February, 2016. And it makes me tired & ineffective.
I love my work. Marketing & communications at a company which truly makes a difference in the lives of others — it’s a dream job in most aspects. In 5 years I’ve helped launch a marketing department at one of the fastest growing companies in the US. I’ve gone from the single marketing person working with the blog, website, social media, video and other marketing functions to a team of 5. I’m still doing a lot of what I used to do, but much of it is now delegated to an awesome team. Which means I get to do new stuff like leadership and people management. I love it. But I need to do more — more reading, more understanding, more thinking, more planning, more strategy … and to do more I need to do less of what I used to do. I feel like I’m not doing enough. I want to launch internal communications and grow our brand and do better marketing. I need to do more.
Talons Out Honor Flight takes up a lot of time. Ground crew planning, event planning, promotion & marketing and more duties all take time and energy. I love it — but it’s another full time job at times.
My family is vital to me. Time with my children before they’re gone and singing Cat’s in the Cradle to me — that’s important. It’s my Why.
My marriage needs attention. Date nights don’t happen, chores around the house fall by the wayside because I’m busy or tired. That’s bad because my wife’s love language is acts of service. Not getting my chores done and not going beyond my commitments doesn’t show my wife that I love her.
Faith: While I should be reading and studying my bible every day, it doesn’t happen. However, I do volunteer at church. We used to do more — children’s ministry then ushering — but it’s tough and we feel drained. But I’ve been a table leader at the men’s group Iron Men for a few sessions and I love it. It’s overwhelming though to think about committing to another round of leading discussions and showing up early and trying to reach out to the men each week.
Free time — I’d love to read more, ride the motorcycle more, get back to running, go to concerts … enjoy my free time with my hobbies. I don’t feel like I have the time or energy.
As a marketer, I’m asked to help friends — which I love — “do marketing” for various events or organizations. I recently volunteered to help with the promotion of an event at church. However, when I got feedback on my creation, I took it personally because “That’s what I do professionally. I know what I’m doing. Why do people think they know better than the professional?!” My short fuse and feeling overwhelmed got the better of me.
Another example is a friend who asked for my input on some marketing and promotion for an event his daughter’s a part of. I offered my professional expertise and committed to helping with news releases. Then he has to ask me several times if one is done. So I drop the ball. I don’t like dropping the ball on my friends.
Other fails:
- Freelance writing for exposure (Relevance.com)
- Freelance writing for income
- Maintaining my own website & personal brand
- Projects at work
- TOHF promotions & events (skiing, Honor Ride, concert, Hangar Dance)
- Wild Game Dinner (could have had better promotion & communication)
- Too tired to exercise
- Too tired/busy to do dishes
- Loss of focus and lack of completion on projects
It’s all adding up. So I’ve decided to strip it all away and say no.
I will no longer take on projects not related to AmeriFirst or Talons Out. I’ve stepped down from Iron Men leadership. I will finish out my commitments, but that’s it. I will make time for me and for my family, rather than squeezing in time where I can. I will work to have more energy to get things done around the house.
This is the year of no. Truly no. I tried last year, and I managed to say no a time or 2. But 2016 will be no on a larger scale. If it doesn’t fit my criteria or AF or TOHF, I’m out. For now. Let me try to turn around my energy and my outlook so that I’m more effective in getting things done and getting healthy. Maybe next year we can look at that project and I can offer advice or help.
This is my decree. This is my goal. I’m publishing it publicly to keep myself accountable. I love all of the projects I’ve helped with and all of the people whom I’ve helped. This is no reflection on anyone. I just need to re-center and prioritize. I hope you’ll understand. I might even find the time to update my journey.